Hello everybody, welcome back to another video by DissociaDID. This is kind of a reassurance video/an advice video. A system that we know quite well recently reached out to us. We wanted to film something on behalf of a particular alter, so Skyler, this is dedicated to you. And… to anybody else that need my help, I really really hopes that it does put your mind at ease a little bit. This doesn’t necessarily just have to be for alters and systems. This could also be to anyone who suffers from gender dysphoria. So whether you’re trans or you don’t associate yourself with how you feel you look and how your body looks and it doesn’t connect to you, then hopefully this can help. If you feel when you’re fronting, if you’re in a system, your voice doesn’t match the way you feel that it should sound, that is a really unpleasant thing to feel and I understand that and it makes you feel like you’re not really you or you’re somehow fake or that you’re living this pretense of a life. And I just wanted to reassure you that that’s not the case. And that nobody’s gonna judge you based on the way your voice sounds. Or the way that, you know, you look. Even if you looked and sounded exactly like you do in the inner world, that doesn’t make you any more or less you, even though it feels less authentic and it feels like it’s not really you and you don’t sound like you and you don’t look like you and it’s not right and it’s not… It’s real that it, it sucks! It really sucks. And I understand that. I really do, I get it. There are things that you can do that can help. The first thing is voice training. Now, you can find voice training videos even on just YouTube for free. So just adjusting the way that your voice naturally hits in the voice box, learning ways to change that and to adjust the way you immediately fall into your normal voice pattern, in a gentle way that after you do it enough, it will become a habit when you’re out, because it changes the way you’re holding that… That voice inside your throat, really. So whether you’re speaking from the back of your throat, speaking with your tongue at the front of your throat, if you’re speaking from your stomach… But it all makes you sound a little bit different. So hopefully that will help if it really does trouble you with the dysphoria and stuff like that. I do want to remind you, even if you never get it quite right and stuff like that, you are still you. And we recognize that. Anyone who loves you will recognize that. And yes, it’s frustrating. And yes, It’s horrible to experience. But that doesn’t change the validity of who you are. Other things can be like hair, so especially for, say for example, systems with a female body and male alters, you may look at your hair and think… “Oh, I look like a girl!” You know. And I know Kyle feels this a lot and he did actually well a hair off once – really really short, really really short pixie cut. Like a guy’s haircut and obviously that’s not always a good thing to do if you don’t have the acceptance of the system. My first thing would be gel. Get hair gel. Get hair tires. Get hair pins. It’s really easy to sweep your hair up and put it under a hat or pin it up so much that when you’re looking at youself, you look like you’ve got really short hair. They’re even like faux sidehawk you can do with plates which make it look like you’ve got a shaved side or something like that, which can be really helpful if you suffer from dysphoria. Also wigs. Wigs bald caps and wigs, and just normal wigs. Really really helpful. That can help you feel more like yourself, feel more authentic about how you’re acting and try and change the way people see you. If people aren’t seeing you the way that you feel you are, they’re purposefully not seeing you as the person that you are and they know that that’s not right and they’re doing it for their own comfort. Then to be honest, they are a bit of a twat. Real friends won’t care. This tea is good! So what else… Don’t underestimate the power of clothes and the power of makeup. Even if you identify as male, it can be very scary to go for something that seems like it’s a female thing, which it’s not. I know that that’s the stereotype that comes with makeup. But makeup can be used so well that it looks like you’re not wearing any makeup and it can change the bone structure of your face, the way your face appears to fall in terms of where shadows fall. So you can make your jawline look wider. You could make it look slimmer if you want it to. You can make your nose look big, as men generally have bigger noses. You can cut your cheekbones in a little bit, so it looks like a false shadow. And highlight with something that looks like dewy skin rather than sparkles, so you won’t really be able to see it there’s a highlight there and it will make your face look wider. The same with your forehead. If you put highlight in the middle of your forehead and contour and literally just here, not up here, will make your forehead look wider and your face look longer, which is generally a male sort of thing. The same for female, if you don’t feel like, you know, maybe your nose is a lot smaller in the inner world or you identify with your nose being a lot smaller than it is in your body. You can do nose contouring, which can be so subtle that, you know, normal people might not notice at all unless you tell them. But it will make your nose look different! Even if it’s just subtly. So you can make your nose look wider. You can make it look shorter. You can make it look more like your nose is lifted with a button nose by highlighting here, and putting brown powder here. You can make it look slimmer, you can even make it so that it looks like you’ve got a bump on your nose by highlighting this area and putting contour here and here. You can genuinely change the way your face looks and… Yeah, it’s going to be really hard at first and you’re gonna look at yourself and think “what the heck am I doing?”. But practice makes perfect. Genuinely. We learned everything that we know about makeup through YouTube. Just through watching YouTube tutorials and copying it. And yeah, it took some time. But you know now, I mean look, how we learned to do makeup and how it turns out. And yeah, it took practice, but I think it’s worth it. I really do think it’s worth it, especially if, you know, that’s something that really does bother you and something that can make a difference to your comfort level in your own body! So this was just a really really little video on some little tips and tricks. If you’d like a big video into how to change the way you look – so I’m talking like in terms of clothes, in terms of binders, packing, also hair growth. So, we don’t pluck or shave or mess around with our eyebrows because it makes the men feel more comfortable, but with makeup, we can cover up any stray hairs and stuff like that for when the girls are out and they don’t feel comfortable. That way, you get the best of both worlds. Communicate with your system, know that, whatever you feel and however crap you feel about how you look, you are beautiful and you are valid. You are still you as the you that you feel you are, no matter what you look like externally and if anyone judges you for that, f*ck them. Seriously, f*ck them, just leave them in the past. And I hope you enjoyed and we’ll see you all in the next video guys. Also, love! Bye!