-Boss. -Wha….what…..What? -We are approaching Camp Omega, prepare for infiltration. -Uhm…yeah…roger that. No no no…no no no no no!!!! Kept you…. KEPT YOU…KEPT YOU…kept you waiting uh??.. -Boss…are you okay? -Oh…i’m doing GREAT.. You woke me up in the middle of the night for this mission… and i just got a piece of sea rock stuck in my forehead! …give me a f**king break…! -Your mission is to rescue all the prisoners… I’m sending you the exact location on your iDroid device. -WHAT??? Updating again??? Come on! It’s the THIRD time today! Ah f**k it, i don’t have time for this s*it!… -Don’t worry about the map, follow my instructions and i will guide you to the main building. -Ok. I’m inside the perimeter. Uh…listen. I should really get some sleep… They have barracks here….maybe i can -For the last time Boss! There is no time for taking naps now! It’s a matter of national security!… -….fine! -Watch out for the spotlights…and if they see you.. use the action button to drop on the ground. -Gotcha! DAMN IT! -Huh…..that was close!… Ok Boss, you can proceed. Boss. Boss!… Respond! BOOOOOOOOOOSS!!!!!!! -Should we kill him?.. -Naaah…. -We were very disappointed about your fail in Cuba, Boss… But i still got faith in you! You are lucky that shark didn’t eat other parts of your body….! Welcome to Afghanistan! Your mission here is quite simple… Locate and rescue Miller from the soviets. Is that clear? -You have a new tool in your arsenal… The Fulton Recovery System. You can use it to retrieve resources. Use it with parsimony since it’s very, very expensive for us. -Ok Taco. WHAT???! I…i mean….oTACOn… uh…..O…o..Ocelot…… …Ocelot? Ocelot. ENOUGH!!!! They say that you are a hero on the battlefield… Don’t let me down this time… NOW GO! Let the legend come back to life!!! Thank god they still make these…. -H.Q….i’m in position. -Miller is held on the second floor of that building but the guards petrolling the area are too active right now… You can use your phantom cigar to make time pass faster… using the darkness as your tactical advantage. -Sounds like a good idea. How does it work? -That’s a secret….all we can say is that it’s equipped with a miniaturized Ecuadorian lady… -All right…let’s give it a shot. -H.Q….beginning the infiltration, no guards in sight. WHAT THE HELL??? H.Q, respond! H.Q!?? uh…..H.Q?…. -BOSS??? Is that you???!?? BOSS? -Yes, ready to roll. -We thought you were DEAD! Miller was killed and the soviets left Afghanistan! HOW LONG did you smoke that cigar???? ……UUUUHH -HEY! NICE BEARD, HIPSTER!!!! -This is your last chance Boss….don’t screw this up…. We got intel of a very valuable v.i.p. held hostage in this base. His identiy is unknown. Go and rescue him using the Fulton system. -Don’t worry H.Q, nothing can go wroing this time. -We hope so….but we cannot take any risks… so we sent you a partner. JESUS? -WHAT!?? No! Her name is Quiet. She’s a highly trained sniper. H.Q out. So…..a-hem….can’t talk huh?… All right…let’s see… You will go this way…and cover me from the hill I’ll take this route on the right… …wait…. what the?…. HEY!!! These game designers need to chill out a little bit!!! Anyway….time to go now. Oh! And….hey… One last thing… BE QUIET!!! -FREEZE!!! -FREEZE!!! I’M SORRY!!!!!! I’M SORRY!!! I’M SOOOOO SORRY!!!!! -Boss wait…. You are approaching a “no flexing zone” You cannot proceed without a proper equipment…so…say goodbye to your pecs for now… -See you later little fella… One day you’ll be strong like me… -Disgusting!!!… -We are sending your gear by airdrop but remember, from this point on, you are on your own. -Uhmmmm……send another one please?… Yup…that’s………that’s the one. Mmh…..i see many patrols in the area…i suggest using C.Q.C to take them down one at a time. -DONE. -DAMN IT BOSS!!!! You only have one Fulton left!!!! Don’t waste it or you will not be able to rescue the target!!!! -WHOOPS…….my bad….! -(Jesus Christ who f**king hired this IDIOT!…) -That’s a big one….you might wanna use your enflatable decoy to distract him. -All right! -I’m too old for playing games…..c’mon now!… -Look at my pecs! -Look at my pecs! -Quiet… -I’m gonna need your help for taking down these two guards with a synchronized shot. -NEVERMIND! Uhm? -H.Q. I have the hostage secured. -Good, now identify the target and proceed with the extraction! Uhm? -What was that sound Boss??? Proceeding with the extraction now. -Boss hurry up! The chopper is waiting!… Use your last Fulton! We are running out of time! COME ON BOSS!!!! What are you waiting for!??? -HEY! A-hem….uhm….BIG FAN but….uh….. Gotta go!!!…. -BOSS!!!!!! Where’s the prisoner!!!?? -Uhm……..unfortunately….. …he didn’t make it…. -Then WHY there’s a wolf in mother base, HUH???? -Uuuuuhm……well, look at the bright side man!.. We still have that sheep that i got back in Afghanistan…. RIGHT???… *grunts in pain* -Uhm!….I should to this kind of stuff WAY more often!!! -Uhm?? -Bitch.

100 thoughts on “MGS V: The Fulton Pain (MGS 5: The Phantom Pain parody)”

  1. 4:48 boss its been 9 years we thought you were dead so miller took over for you but has been captured.

    That would have been a good way to tie into the story with some creative differences but you would have to make another reason for going to afghanistan (maybe tracking down cipher?). Then after that could have been the ocelot, big boss, and sheep bit. It was a pretty funny video though i like to come back and watch every now and then.

  2. Somebody needs to mod the game and make it so that the decoys actually say "Look at my pecs" 😂👍

  3. snake says to quiet:be quiet
    quiet: wtf u say to me u little shit😠😠😠😠😠😠(in quiet)
    btw the army name is sqaure triangle dogs

  4. 🏁🚩🏴🏳🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️🇦🇨🇦🇩🇦🇪🇦🇫🇦🇬🇦🇮🇦🇱🇦🇲🇦🇴🇦🇶🇦🇷🇦🇹🇦🇸🇦🇺🇦🇼🇦🇽🇦🇿🇧🇦🇧🇧🇧🇩🇧🇪🇧🇫🇧🇬🇧🇭🇧🇮🇧🇯🇧🇱🇧🇲🇧🇳🇧🇴🇧🇷🇧🇶🇧🇸🇧🇹🇧🇻🇧🇼🇧🇾🇨🇬🇨🇫🇧🇿🇨🇩🇨🇦🇨🇨🇨🇭🇨🇮🇨🇰🇨🇱🇨🇲🇨🇳🇨🇴🇨🇷🇨🇺🇨🇻🇨🇼🇨🇽🇨🇾🇨🇿🇩🇴🇩🇪🇩🇲🇩🇬🇩🇰🇩🇯🇪🇸🇪🇺🇪🇹🇫🇮🇫🇯🇫🇰🇫🇲🇫🇴🇬🇫🇫🇷🇬🇪🇬🇦🇬🇩🇬🇧🇬🇬🇬🇮🇬🇭🇬🇱🇬🇲🇬🇳🇬🇵🇬🇶🇬🇾🇬🇼🇬🇷🇬🇸🇬🇸🇬🇹🇬🇺🇭🇰🇮🇨🇭🇲🇭🇹🇭🇳🇭🇷🇮🇪🇮🇱🇮🇲🇮🇳🇮🇴🇮🇶🇯🇵🇯🇴🇰🇪🇰🇬🇰🇭🇰🇮🇰🇲🇰🇳🇰🇵🇰🇷🇰🇼🇰🇾🇰🇾🇰🇿🇰🇿🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇺🇱🇺🇱🇨🇱🇮🇱🇰🇱🇷🇱🇹🇱🇹🇱🇾🇱🇺🇱🇻🇲🇦🇲🇩🇲🇨🇲🇫🇲🇪🇲🇬🇲🇵🇾🇹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇿🇲🇽🇰🇻🇺🇾🇪🇻🇳🇻🇬🇺🇸🇺🇬🇹🇻🇺🇦🇹🇻🇹🇦🇹🇬🇸🇾🇹🇯🇹🇫🇸🇷🇹🇿🇸🇸🇹🇬🇸🇿🇹🇭🇹🇰🇸🇮🇸🇪🇷🇸🇸🇭

  5. 1:15 I remember a flash game that looked like this, called Seirra 7: A flash game that taught you how to be an efficient anti terrorist unit. You were allowed 1 subweapon: from 3 pills to restore health, to a flashbang, and a set loadout. Achievements would unlock more loadout options and guns, some missions had scripted guns you only used once though such as the sniper segment, where wind affected your shots (of course you could just wait for the wind to die down then shoot the specified guard)

  6. 今思ったけどランボー?みたいな奴フルトン回収してDDと一緒にヘリに乗れば良かったんじゃね

  7. The Phantom Peen 😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉

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