Why do humans own so many bags? The prices… range from zero dollars… to a five-figure sum Well, some bags are designer labels So what if they’re designer labels? According to humans,
they make them feel good Do the designer bags
make them walk faster, fill their stomachs without eating… or allow them to have income
without having to work? No What’s the point then? Are you 12345? How did you know that? You really are 12345? Yes Careful, it could be a weapon The PIN is 12345 Just take my money. Don’t hurt me What’s that? My bank card. Aren’t you robbers? I only have 2, 3K in my account Take it. Don’t hurt me Where’s your sensor? What sensor? Why is there a scar on your finger?It’s common for durian sellers
to have scars on their fingersNo wonder Leopard King
has scars on his fingers tooShe isn’t lying. We’re wrong about herBut how do you explain the smell on her?Why does it make us dizzy?Are you filming? Where’s the camera? Help Sorry, it was a misunderstanding.
You may go Her voice sounds so familiar Have I heard it somewhere before? Why is Durian Girl not 12345? There’s no sensor on her The scar on her index finger
was left by durians But how do we explain the smell on her? We have breathing difficulties
every time we go near her The smell can kill us The more I think of it, the more scared I get Let’s go back to Amikus No, not when we haven’t
accomplished our mission If we stay on, something might happen again Let’s not let a mysterious smell
throw us into confusion Our purpose in coming to Earth
is to allow our people… to migrate to Earth safely Since this smell has
a detrimental effect on us, we must remove it Be very careful from now on Besides looking for 12345, we’ll find the source of the smell All right? Is every shopping mall packed with
so many clothes and shoes? Yup I’ve been to another mall The things they sell are similar Singapore only has
a population of over five million Why do you need so many
similar malls and goods? Well, everybody likes shopping I see But a person only has one body
and a pair of legs Why does he need so many clothes? You don’t wear the same clothes
and shoes every day The more you have, the better you can
put together a good ensemble How much clothing and how many
pairs of shoes are considered enough? Clothes are like money,
they’ll never be enough Why? Stop asking I don’t know how to answer you anymore Let’s get down to work You know, when I was in Paris, I saw many bags of the latest designs Really? -Yeah Where did you get your handbag? It’s a limited edition.
Only about 300 in the world You had to preorder it online It’s not available anymore A limited edition? I bet it cost a bomb Not really. It was only 6K plus 6K? 6K for such a small bag? What functions does it have? Can I take a look? Hands off. It’s a designer bag You can’t afford to pay me back if you dirty it What’s a designer bag? It looks no different from other bags… used for putting things in You know how many apples
you can buy with 6K? An apple costs 40 cents in supermarkets For 6K, you can buy 15,000 apples If you eat an apple a day, 15,000 apples will last you 41 years So why did you spend so much money… on a bag that only serves the purpose
of putting things in? Is something wrong with your brain? It’s none of your business that
we splurge on bags Let’s not stoop to her level She can never afford this bag Let’s go Girl Paper and water are precious resources You shouldn’t waste them What’s the matter, Jena? She scolded me and hit me Why did you hit her, miss? I didn’t hit her She was playing with water and toilet paper It was a waste of resources I was telling her not to do that I did nothing of the sort, Uncle Dave All right You’re lying despite your tender age Why are you so naughty?Daddy and Mummy are always overseasNobody cares about me unless I misbehaveHer parents don’t spend time with her
as they’re always away That’s why she misbehaves I won’t punish her since she’s so young But she needs to be taken in hand How did you know that? When children are naughty,
it’s usually because… they try to attract attention You’re right Even if your parents aren’t with you, you must behave, all right? You usually get off work on the dot Why did you wait for me today? Since I’m coming to this area,
I might as well get a lift from you I know what you’re up to You’re here to see the hunk Everybody likes to feast their eyes.
Don’t you? Please, be more reserved. You’re a girl Don’t make it so obvious Being reserved is out in this day and age I must act fast before he’s taken You’ll scare him away You won’t understand Xinmei You forgot this Thanks Bye What are you doing? Sorting out rubbish for recycling You did a good job today Come, let’s pack up. It’s six o’clock Hi, Xianglin Hello, Ms Moon What a small world.
You’re working in this area today? Are you tired? -No Ms Yong, we’re done for the day.
We’re going home now OK, very good. Go home I’ll make a move Where are you going, Xianglin? Home Shall we have dinner together? Japanese food? Korean food? No The Western food here is good No. I’m going home Let’s go to the movies No. I’m going home. Bye Why are you here? Where’s Moon? She’s gone to a good Western restaurant She didn’t ask you out? She did, but I’m going home What do you think of Moon? Fu Yayue, 27, accountant What else? That’s all the info I have about her Can’t you tell that Moon has a thing for you? What do you mean she has a thing for me? Have you ever been in a relationship? Relationship? What’s a relationship? It means having feelings
for someone of the opposite sex What feelings would one have
for the opposite sex? Is there nobody you like? No You don’t say I do – my father and Qingxia No, that’s kinship It’s not love When you’ve a thing for someone,
you think of her all the time When you see her,
your heart races for no reason When she’s happy, you’re happy too When she’s sad, you feel sad too You’ll worry about her Now, that’s love Sounds complicated Is that what being in love is about? It’s complicated but sweet Oh? I still don’t get it Never mind, you can’t rush into it You’ll get what I mean
when you meet your love Remember this – true love True love? Look You changed your phone again My daddy just bought it.
He said this is the latest model The screen is bigger,
so I can see more clearly A handphone is still far too small Now, this is what I call big Come on, this was last year’s model So what? It still allows me
to go online to watch videos Can you lend me your tablet, Guanjun? I don’t have a tablet Your parents didn’t get one for you? She doesn’t even have a handphone You don’t say. There are people
who are without a handphone? It’s ridiculous Green Shrimp Your parents can’t even afford a phone? We’re too advanced We don’t need phones to communicate Admit that you can’t afford one.
Don’t give us excuses You don’t even have a phone.
Do you live on Earth? I wouldn’t want to live here.
You’re so primitive You don’t want to live on Earth? So funny. You think you’re an alien? Look at these two people.
They look so funny in their outfits Where did you get the clip from? Someone filmed the video and uploaded it Upload? Guanjun You only got 89 marks for your English test I want to know why I’m sorry, Ms Tan You always score 95 marks and above What happened? I’ll do better next time All right, don’t let me down again How many marks did Qingxia get, Ms Tan? 100 marks She got 100 marks for all the subjects Look at this. It’s so funny Spontan… Spontaneous Not feeling well? Don’t bother to memorize it then I don’t want to lose to you Bye, Xiao-yun -Bye Grandma -Mummy Was it tiring? I want to get a handphone I’ll have to ask Lea… your sister I’m the Princess.
Why do I need her permission? Did you hear that?
She calls herself a princess Your daughter’s Princess Syndrome
is quite severe, Xiaolong But she is my princess You pamper her like a princess? No wonder she’s so unruly Never spoil your kids rotten You’ll suffer eventually Take your daughter in hand, Xiaolong She’s so rude, she doesn’t greet us at all Not just us She’s rude to her brother and sister too I’ve never heard her greet them Why should I do that? You don’t have to You’re most senior in our family They’ve to listen to you You’re too unfair, Xiaolong Xianglin and Fengjiao are also your children They aren’t my children They aren’t your children? You’re not their father? This is breaking news I can’t wait to find out more Where are you going, Princess?
Wait for me Let’s go for a coffee -Xiaolong Why did you ask to see us immediately,
Your Highness? I saw on the humans’ Internet… a video of you with Durian Girl How did it come about? When we were talking to Durian Girl, someone videoed us But how did it get onto the Internet? There are many videos on the Internet… which you can watch
on a computer or a handphone No wonder humans are forever
staring at their handphones There are many things to watch Since everybody has a handphone,
we should each have one too… so as to live like them I’ll go buy handphones now I’ll go with you Come here, Xiaolong We’ve something to ask you What is it? You were saying Fengjiao and Xianglin… aren’t your biological children So whom did your wife have them with? Don’t be so blunt I’m a straightforward person Aren’t you eager to find out too? Tell us about it, XiaolongWhat did you tell them?It was a slip of the tongueI said you and Leader
weren’t my biological childrenHow careless of you. What should we do?Relax, remember
what Leopard King taught us?Time to put it to use. Watch meOK I had a girlfriend who… grew up with me But her parents made her marry a man… who was much older than her She broke up with you? In those days, arrangements
made by the parents… were not to be defied I didn’t blame her I still loved her So I remained single You were so devoted to her, Xiaolong What happened after that? After she gave birth to Xianglin and Fengjiao, her husband died from illness The children and… my first love were left to fend for themselves I felt sorry for her
who’d become a single parent So… I decided that I’d be with her… at all costs But… my family disapproved of it We had to leave Singapore And then, we had Qingxia I see So Xianglin and Fengjiao
aren’t related to you by blood? Not at all But I regard them… as my own Then, my wife passed on last year We decided… to come back… to Singapore I’m so touched by you, Xiaolong You’ve earned my respect Given the same situation,
I might not be able to do what you did Where are your brains? You actually buy his story It’s more melodramatic than a drama series No, what happens in real life… is more melodramatic Xiaolong has no reason to lie to us It’s not going to make him rich -Exactly Come on, use your toes to think He’s just trying to win
the sympathy of ignorant women You’re the ignorant one Fancy calling us ignorant You are gullible You weren’t born yesterday, yet you believe such devotion exists Never been in a relationship? Many times You think every man is as heartless as you? Precisely I believe you, Uncle Long Only heartless people
would doubt your words They don’t know what fidelity is about Well said Had it not been for my quick wit,
we’d have been in the soup Something happened? I was walking with 51487… when the neighbours stopped us
and plied us with questions 85252 made up a story
spontaneously to fool them Our cover would’ve been blown otherwise How did you come up with… such a convincing story? Leopard King taught us
to lie through our teeth I merely repeated the plot of a drama serial I’m surprised they didn’t suspect a thing The skills Leopard King taught us are useful When I was making up the story, I was nervous My heart was thumping But when I realized that I’d fooled them, I was thrilled Now, we’ll only lie to hide our identities Do not tell lies unless necessary These are your handphones Handphones? Their technology is way far behind ours Yet I had to pay nearly $4,000 for them So expensive? We’ve even less money now By rights, our money should
see us through three years But we’re late by 30 years Prices of everything have gone up Our reserves can only last us for a year I’m glad both of you have a job My income and 51487’s… aren’t enough to cover
the school fees, utilities bills and rent We make too little money Now I know why humans
have to work to make money Everything is so expensive You’ve to toil to make a living True A simple gadget like a handphone
costs so much money Humans don’t just buy handphones They also buy clothes, shoes, pants, socks, houses and cars, foods and daily necessities too The minute they open their eyes,
they need money And they go for the latest and the best My classmates aren’t happy with
having just a handphone They also want tablets Why do they need so many gadgets? Humans are obsessed with
physical possessions They buy clothes and cosmetics
to doll themselves up… and compare the prices of their bags They pursue material comforts But why? I don’t get it They don’t hesitate to spend
their hard-earned money That’s why I feel sorry for humans Let me teach you to use the handphones Besides making calls, you can also take photos and videos,
listen to music, go online and play games We can only do all that using the phone? What a hassle Humans also have many
social media platforms I’ve downloaded those which are the most in Like this one Many people take videos and… upload them here If you want to see movies, just tap here I feel awful I feel like crying I almost had a great time Why did you have to talk like that? It’s the first time I feel like crying over a girl Humans enjoy watching all this stuff? I don’t think we know them enough yet That’s why we need to have a phone It’ll help us get to know humans better Darling I bought fried kway teow for you Leave it. Eat first You don’t like fried kway teow? Have some chicken soup then It’s good for you Darling How about some dessert? It’s your favourite Here you go OK, I spoke out of turn But you already
ticked me off in front of everyone Aren’t you appeased yet? I take it that everything’s OK What are you doing?Watching TVStar Do you believe in eternal love?SureWhy? Did something happen?When I was a kid, I thought my parents were a loving couple They were inseparable, going everywhere together To my astonishment, after my mum passed on, my dad brought home his illegitimate son The boy was already four That means when my mum was still alive, he had a mistress So… I don’t believe in loveIs that why you’d rather have
an online relationship with me?It’s good to date online I feel free… and unrestrained I don’t have to meet up with you… or commit myself I also won’t be hurt this way P-a-i-n-t M-a… You barely touched your food Does it taste awful? Eating is a waste of time.
I’ve to learn new vocabulary You need energy to study Stop disturbing me, Daddy I only have another 45 words to go So many? Have some fruit, Guanjun Here My head What’s the matter? Xinmei What is it? Guanjun has a headache You’ve a headache, Guanjun? Some mother you are.
You didn’t even know he had a headache I guess it’s the weather.
Let’s not kick up a fuss When did it start? Since morning Why didn’t you tell me? Take him to the doctor’s I’ll get my wallet Come, we’re going to the doctor’s I must memorize the words Leave it Come on How is my son, doctor? I’ve examined him. He’s fine Why does he have a headache then? I believe it’s migraine Migraine? At his age? When a child is constantly stressed… and is unable to de-stress, he gets migraine Please monitor his condition Now, Guanjun Are you bullied in school? No A teacher gave you a scolding? No Why are you stressed then? Daddy, Mummy If I don’t top the class, will you still love me? Why do you ask? You top the class every year Have you no confidence in yourself this year? No matter how you fare, you’re our darling It doesn’t matter whether
you top your class or not If only I had a younger brother or sister Why? He or she could top the class… and make you happy Put your studies aside this evening We’ll go to the movies No, I don’t want to go anywhere I told myself I must memorize
100 English words a day Unless I do that, I can’t go out to play Let’s go home, Daddy, Mummy A-l-a-c-c-a… Why are you sitting here by yourself? I came out for some fresh air You? I just took Guanjun to the doctor’s.
He has migraine I guess he’s too stressed out Migraine, at his age? Xinmei has been pushing him You should speak to her Ask her to go easy on him Be honest with me, Zhiqiang Is there a problem between you and Xinmei? A few days ago, I saw a man seeing Xinmei home That should be her superior They often go out for meetings together He must’ve given her a lift on his way back Is that so? But their behaviour told me otherwise They seemed rather… They seemed rather close Xinmei told me her superior
doesn’t like women They’re like sisters You take her at her word? Sure, she’s my wife Why drag me out of bed so early? Look What’s she doing? Durian Girl has made up
her mind to shed pounds She comes here to work out every day Look at her belly wobbling like jelly Did someone agitate her? You’re the reason What did I do? You OK, Durian Girl? You OK? Get up Tiansheng, are you here to root for me? I don’t have to do that.
You’re already a heavyweight You’ve always been plump Why the sudden decision to shed pounds? You’re the reason Give me three months, Tiansheng Three months from now, I’ll be skinnier than Chen Fengjiao You’ll only have eyes for me then You think you can turn into
a beanpole in three months? No way It can be done I haven’t had rice for days And I’ve been working out Can’t you tell I’ve lost weight? Awesome I can’t tell at all I’ve lost 0.5 kg Yet you can’t tell? When a cow sheds a hair, you won’t be able to tell But I’m already eating only apples every day I’ve even stopped eating durians
which are my favourite Three months You’ll see a new me three months from now Sorry, I’ve to get back to my workout Tiansheng, Durian Girl
is making a great sacrifice for you If you let her down, you’ll get it from me Durian Girl Keep it up, Durian Girl Go for it, Durian Girl Please, Dad You think I can be bought with just a coffee? Help make Durian Girl give me up… and I’ll make coffee for you every day I’d love to help, but Durian Girl has approached me She said if I approved of your relationship, she’d give me a sum What? I don’t believe this You betrayed your son for money? I take the coffee back Fine Only a fool would say no to money Durian Girl is quite an eligible woman Her dad owns a durian plantation It’s enough to see us through a lifetime If she’s so good, why don’t you marry her? I don’t mind, but you’re the one she fancies That actually came from you.
I must hand it to you Love can be nurtured But I don’t have any feelings for her Can’t be helped then Money is the root of the problem here I’ve accepted her money Why won’t you start the class? I’m not in the mood Class dismissed We’ve paid you a fee You must teach us trick number three OK, I’ll teach you the last trick It’s the highest level of lying – lying together What does it mean? Humans are weird When a person lies, nobody believes him But when more than one person
tell the same lie, everybody will start to believe it At this point, even if someone tells the truth, nobody will believe him Humans are indeed weird Please teach us the trick Sure Where’s Yang Tiansheng, the rogue? How dare he bring Fengjiao
to a hotel in Geylang Where’s Yang Tiansheng? We must teach him a lesson, and make him marry Fengjiao Let’s find him Let’s find him Chen Fengjiao How dare you take liberties with Tiansheng You’re going to be sorry I’ll find her Open the door, Yang Tiansheng You’ll be sorry if you
dare lay a finger on Fengjiao Yang Tiansheng, come… How did you know I’m here? You cad -What is it? You really are here with Fengjiao Tiansheng, you really… slept with her? How could you do this to me? You cad, Yang Tiansheng You’re not getting away with it Beat him, Xianglin No You failed to take your daughter in hand Tiansheng isn’t to blame No smell No smell at all No smell? I must teach you a lesson, Yang Tiansheng Beat him, Xianglin Did you have to punch me so hard? He told me to beat you It’s just for show I already pulled my punches. Sorry I get it now You’re putting on an act… to make me give Tiansheng up Right? Your imagination is so fertile.
Fengjiao and I really are here to… bed each other Your acting is so lousy I won’t be tricked Was our acting that bad? We did our best All right Indeed we were putting on an act, but my feelings for Fengjiao are true Fengjiao is… the only woman I love Stop having me on Granted, you love Chen Fengjiao, but the feeling isn’t mutual Did we accomplish our mission? I think so I think so How did we fare? Excellent You’ve grasped the skills of lying.
You’ve graduated Great, we’ve graduated It’s all thanks to the fact that
we accomplished our mission We almost bungled it Thank goodness Fengjiao kissed
Leopard King in the nick of time I’m strong You told me to hit him, so you’re responsible Mission accomplished. Let’s go home Sure Fengjiao Why did you kiss me just now? I learnt it from the videos When a person likes another person, she kisses him I had to do that
to make Durian Girl buy our story When you kissed me, did you… did you feel anything? No Not at all? Not at all Why was there no smell… on Durian Girl today? The smell didn’t come from her? It can’t be Smell it It’s first-class Smells great, doesn’t it? Only you deserve such good durians Durians What is it? You sounded urgent I just want a meal with you Whatever for? We met on this day 20 years ago It calls for a celebration
since it’s a special occasion We’ve been married for so many years, but we’ve never celebrated it There’s always a first time You like French cuisine That’s why I made a reservation here You’ll love their appetizers,
main courses and desserts Cheers What’s wrong with you today? I know I’m not a romantic person I’ll change We’ll spend time together… by dining out occasionally Something has cropped up.
I need to go back to the office I’ve placed orders Eat before you go Please serve the dishes now -OK Steve Sorry, I came as fast as I could I don’t know what he was up to He asked me out
only to have a meal with me Since you’ve eaten,
I don’t suppose you can eat again Are you upset? Don’t be mad anymore I’m not full yet Let’s go for Japanese food,
which is your favourite Come on What are you doing here?
Going to get something? I was waiting for you Still, you didn’t have to come downstairs What is it? What’s your relationship… with your boss, Steve? Are you having an affair? Yes Subtitles: S Lin, Mediacorp TV

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