You don’t think about your body, unless it goes wrong. I mean, a normal person isn’t aware of their legs, because they just say: “Right, walk!” You know. Their brain tells them to walk and they walk. Whereas, when you are in pain, you are aware of them all of the time. I feel like my body has got an existence all of its own… …and if it doesn’t want to react in the way that I want it to then there is nothing I can do about it. It’s as if my body’s in two parts. The old good bit, and the pain bit. One bit works, and the other doesn’t. And when it’s bad and I can’t move properly, it’s like my body is not part of me at all. It won’t obey. It is like you are not the same person anymore. People think you’ve changed. People feel different towards you. They treat you differently when they’re around you. I think before I got a sore back I was a lot more cheerful and outgoing But it’s like living with this person who… …who follows you around all the time. You are cursed with her, and she gets in the way. She embarrasses me. She is unsociable, and sometimes downright rude. I know it is me, I know it is not ‘some person’, but… it’s not me. That’s not me. I am not like that. My pain makes me a pain. It’s that feeling of knowing that I must be a pain to others. I am unreliable. I’m totally unreliable. That’s how I feel. Everyone is missing out, because of me. I don’t think they know what it’s all about. They don’t understand me. They don’t feel my pain. You feel like you are unimportant, and insignificant. Like you are taking up their time. Like their time is more valuable than yours. Listen to me. Listen to what I tell you. (sigh) They don’t listen. They can treat livers and brains, so why can’t they do something for me? They can do so much that is sophisticated, why can’t they treat just a simple back problem? I just feel like I am being pushed around. They sent me to a Rheumatologist. That was no good. … and now they’ve ended up sending me to a pain clinic. I just haven’t got any faith really. I just want to find out what is causing this pain, all through my body. … and I just meet a blank wall. I feel like a shuttlecock. There was a new doctor that I never met before… …so there I am, talking to yet another doctor… …it’s the same old story. I have been through the test twice already, only to find myself in the same place I am. “Oh, we’re sorry, we don’t really know what the problem is.” “It’s clearly not in our domain.” Let’s hope it’s in someone else’s, hey? Let’s say, this person has a psychological problem. In other words, let’s push it into the realms of psychiatry. Each time you come, they tell you something different. I mean, who’s to say who’s right and who’s wrong? I’ll have friends that will come up to me: “Hey, you’re looking good.” Ah…and I am feeling absolutely the pits. I mean, just look at me… …can you see any of my aches and pains? My God, I look great, don’t I? So how can you believe me when I say: “This whole body hurts, all over, all of the time!” Nobody can point to anything, so that’s why people can say: “Oh, is it all up in her head?” “Can she really be in this much pain?” … and if I had a crippling arthritis or a disfiguring condition then things would be different… …but because my pain is something that people can’t see… I don’t feel it’s legitimate. I feel like I am always making excuses. Society in general will think that I am making excuses, because there isn’t anything that they can actually see. When I had a broken arm, it was wonderful. Everybody rushed towards me in the supermarket, to help. …and I don’t feel in the least bit guilty, because it was in plaster. Someone said to me… “Oh, you good so good. It’s impossible to see that you are suffering.” I feel like I should look groggy. …that my face should be gray. …that I should wear no make-up. …that I perhaps appear to be too strong. …and when you burst into tears and get upset people say: “Oh dear, it’s a depression.” So, you go in with a smiley face. I don’t think they believe you then, because… …you look too cheerful, you can’t possibly be in pain. I try to keep it to myself. There have been a lot of things I’ve had to give up. I don’t go swimming. I don’t go dancing. I’ve had to give up a lot of … ‘fun things’. I am old before my time. I worked in health insurance for a long time and there were a lot of compensation claims for people with back pain As far as I was concerned, back then, people with back pain were just, … well… bludgers and whingers. I do sometimes think: “Gosh, I hope people don’t think I whinge.” …and I do try, when people ask: “How are you?” to say: “Fine.” …but nobody really wants to know, do they? There was a colleague of mine…. …who had chronic back pain. …and you were frightened to ask: “How are you?” …because you would always get this …long… drawn out, kind of boring thing. My God, I never want to be like that. …but your body speaks to you all the time. You have to learn to interpret the signals. …become aware of your limits. Now, I usually pace myself with what I’ve got to do on a daily basis. I know what I can and what I can’t do. Unlike before, when I used to clean the house in a whole day. Now, I just do a little piece of work each day. …and if I have decided to do the cleaning the next day and I don’t feel well, then I’ll skip it. I think I demanded a lot more of myself before. When I finally did accept that, OK, I was going to have to do things differently…. I shifted my energies to the stuff that gives me pleasure. This has pushed me to take more control of my life. Sometimes it’s hard, but try to find ways to do what you want to do. Focus your mind on possibilities. That’s what I do. It’s easy to talk though. Isn’t it?

100 thoughts on “Struggling to be me with chronic pain”

  1. Powerful! I'm in tears….because I'm her. Nobody cares. God forbid someone asks me how I'm doing. I don't need to worry about that because no one ever asks. My doctor told me she doesn't know what else she can do for me. She said she'd refer me to pain management. Then she said pain management doesn't believe in Fibromyalgia. I've been real close to calling it a day . I pray every night that I don't wake up the next day. What I'm going through isn't living

  2. I wake up everyday, put on a brave face. I dont sleep much, thanks to my back. I suffer from failed spinal surgery. My spine is twisted and deformed with loose screws and a dented rod. The pain is bad, if I didnt have kids who love me and need me I would kill myself

  3. Chronic pain is hell and suffering. Surviving chronic pain is surivivng hell! To all of you with pain, I love you. It's not your fault and you don't deserve to be in pain.

  4. Wow it's like every chronic pain patient has the exact same story! Invisible illnesses are so difficult to manage

  5. It’s hard to put on a brave face everyday and act like your okay :/ I hate when people are just walking pain free while I’m over here with severe back pain leg and hip pain everyday

  6. I watched this video a while ago. All she said she is telling the truth. Because I am a sufferer like her its hard to live with. You just have to make room for it. And try to stay strong

  7. My last treatment was an infusion which my pain clinic suggested might help me. But with all I been through i remain strong positive and move on with my life and try my best to be happy. It helps your mental state. And my well-being is so important to me. I have two power house daughters. Who take great care of me. And they are very protective of me. As they both have seen how others have took my kindness for granted, and just bulldozed my heart. But I am so over it all God is my everything. I know this i will never allow any of them back in my life, its done they all are ghost to me. I am not bitter I see them all for what they are. I will not let anyone dull my sparkele. It's left my path clear for better energy to come into my life. I have never felt happier. My health is what me and my family are concentrating on. Life is looking brighter. Lower back pain is difficult to cope with but as they say the show must go on. Treat people with respect. When they are sick never make them feel that they are less. They have great minds great personalities. Never right someone off. They will fly high like a beautiful butterfly 😊🌻🌹🌹🌹🌼🌼👍

  8. I can relate to this ..It is very good ..very good ……….so so true !!!bless you !! I belive you every word ..

  9. I have suffered almost my entire life like this and it has only gotten worse as I get older. I'm 49 now and haven't been able to work in over 5 years. It's such a sad existence. Somehow it helps a bit to hear others going through the same struggles because being in pain is being trapped in your own body, alone, and this makes me feel like I'm not alone. Good Luck to anyone reading this, I hope you get your miracle, your answers, relief, and happiness. I will always search for insight and answers. I still have hope that someday I will be able to wake in the morning and tackle my dreams. I will play with my grandkids and meet new people and walk my dog as long as I want, in the fresh air, planning my days and crushing my goals.

  10. I am really touched by this video, I was in a motorcycle accident 10 yrs ago I snapped my pelvis 8 cm and I have two plates in it I had to learn how to walk again and,i am a truck driver by trade..I thought going back to work right away was the best thing because I had a family to support and my ex wife wasn't the working type so I made the decision to go back, I started out taking 3-4 pain pills a day,now I'm up to 15-20 I spend most of my money on them so I'm working to support my habit,im depressed everyday and I keep thinking of taking my firearm and ending it all I'm never happy and I honestly don't think that it's going to get any better for me,if anyone reads this I pray for you that you don't go through what I have been

  11. We've gone down to 90 mme with many using suicide as the only way out here in the US. I hope you're doing okay! Prayers go out to you

  12. Great video. Very glad to hear I am not the only suffering from this "invisible" pain. Chronic pain syndrome is so painful. Everything hurts so much. All the time. I need a support group.

  13. I've had MS for 4yrs, wheelchair user for 3yrs due to 10/10 pain, can't even try to walk any more. I've been given regular painkillers, all they do is make me so tired I can't function at all. I feel ill and the pain is awful. The wheelchair makes it hard to travel. But even with all this, I feel abandoned by my so called medical team. How awful to wish I had cancer instead… But at least then I'd have hope, surgery, treatment, cards and flowers! With a chronic, disabling illness you really are invisible. I can identify with this, I'm in a wheelchair permanently and the medical profession still ignore my pain, so I do understand that it must be even worse to have a completely invisible illness xxx

  14. Although I can truly relate to the frustration and heartache of living
    with chronic pain from 27 years of
    living with Systemic Lupus, I also
    need to stress the importance of
    a positive mental attitude❣~
    YES, it can be quite difficult on the toughest of days, and sometimes
    just resting is all we can do…
    Doing everything naturally to help can also be a blessing, including
    dietary changes, herbal supplements (such as CBD Oils),
    dry-sauna sessions, moderate exercise, and getting out of the house much as possible to stay social with others☺…it ALL can add-up, just a bit, to help achieve
    a higher quality of life~much as possible, anyway!! LOTS of 🙏🙏, as well, asking for stamina and strength:)

  15. If this was real she wouldn’t be riding the bloody bus with a bad back or chronic pain, here we go it’s in your head…..

  16. I suffer too. In pain 24/7 for 17 years. Doctors don’t help. Medications have caused greater problems. The neuropathy is the Worst!!! I suffer w that on a level 11 on scale 1-10. So damn hard. Wonder How I will deal with the rest of my life. Bless you all 😿

  17. She took the words out of my mouth. I'm only 38, I've had fibromyalgia since 33…The pain has overtaken my life 🙁

  18. Giving up what you love is so hard. I can't be who I was meant to be.

    People lack empathy. Unless they suffer, they don't know

  19. Thank you for this video. I can relate to it so much as I have been to a plethora of doctors that has equated to feeling like riding a merry go round. I miss being outgoing and cheerful like I was prior. I have had chronic nerve pain for over a year affecting all extremities. 4 MRI’s this year thus far, and just now finding out that it is my back. Degenerative disc disease and herniated/bulging discs throughout all levels . I am trying to keep a positive mindset and learn what I can and can’t do. I am an avid runner and sure miss it, but am learning to adapt. God bless you all ,and if anyone needs to talk I’m here. I’m just now learning that so many others deal with chronic pain. I have had epidural steroid injections , but want to take the most holistic approach in managing it.. dietary changes, vitamins , essential oils etc. No pain medication except when absolutely necessary !

  20. Me too. Eleven years now and counting. I don't know if they'll do the surgery this year and fix my hip. Then there's the cracked lower spine. The pain is that severe I can barely function. I've lost my identity. My heart goes out to all having to live this way, with pain.

  21. Thank you for talking about this I suffer with fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis and vulvodynia is horrible. I will share this in my platform.

  22. Everything you said was so true, and the judgment be others, whether medical personnel or friends, family, colleagues, etc, has only gotten worse nowadays!

  23. Speaking for us all!! I started with Occipital Neuralgia which took years to diagnose. By the ti e it was identified I had been suffering with Fibro for a number of years (afterlthough not yet diagnosed) . For years I had great anger which, ubfortunately, I shared with my family. I noow have some relief but was forced to retire and am left with, absoulutelly no money in my bank account. I feel that I have failed ( and continud to fail) to provide for my family. Although as a result of my moderate relief I can enjoy my family more and I can been a little more like myself (after 30 yrs -most of my married like!) I feel iv'e lost , at least 25 yrs of my life thx for giving voice to our suffering..

  24. I HAVE HAD A VERY BAD HEADACHE 24/7/365 FOR OVER 35 YEARS. WHEN I WAS 16 or 17 WHILE WALKING ON A STREET MY FRIEND DECIDED TO TAKE A ROCK ABOUT THE SIZE OF A TANGERINE AND THROW IT HARD DOWN THE ROAD. HOWEVER THE GUY HAD QUITE A SIDEARM TOSS SO AS I WAS STANDING PRETTY CLOSE TO HIM HIS SO AS HE BROUGHT THAT ROCK FOR RELEASE HE POPPED ME RIGHT BEHIND MY LEFT EAR COMPLETELY ACCIDENTAL ON HIS PART THOUGH MY HEAD WAS NOT IMPRESSED. I DIDNT REALLY PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER UNTIL YEARS LATER BUT BASICALLY I HAVE HAD A BAD HEADACHE FROM THAT DAY TILL TODAY. I THANK GOD FOR PAIN MEDICATION AS IF IT WERE NOT FOR MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST THERE IS A REAL POSSIBILITY THAT I MAY HAVE ENDED MY LIFE AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER THOUGH IM NOT THE SUICIDE TYPE. WHAT CAN BRING ME TO RIVERS OF TEARS IS FOR ME TO IMAGINE THE POOR SOUL THAT HAS PAIN AS BAD OR WORSE THAN ME IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY WITHOUT ANY REAL PAIN RELIEF. SOMETIME IT CAN MAKE ME SHAKE IM SOO UPSET ABOUT THOSE POOR MASSES IN THE CLUTCHES OF UNBEARABLE PAIN. IT REALLY BOTHERS ME AND I PRAISE GOD FOR BEING SO KIND TO ME A SINNER BUT I WONDER WHY WAS I SPARED THE HORROR of RAW UGLY PAIN WITH NO RELIEF. I KNOW I DONT DESERVE ANYTHING BUT JUDGEMENT BUT GOD CONTINUES TO BLESS ME DAILY. I'M SURELY READY FOR MY NEW HEAVENLY BODY.

  25. Focusing my mind on things that bring me joy and surround myself with it. I try to distract my pain with blessings that I DO have. It’s still a struggle to mind switch because the pain is constant and high all day everyday and really messes with my mind. On the pain train for 30 years. I too think of shedding this earthly body and realize I need to find some worth from this pain. It helps to look at my seaglass, create art from them sometimes when my hands work and look at my little dogs face and smile. I’ll take those moments

  26. This is a new FB page I just started for beauty, nature, and loving support of Chronic Pain, Illness, Disability:
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/2163519383886599/members/

  27. That was an ACTOR? They couldn't find a real person to tell the story? I know the story was based on real experiences but still…GEEZ!!!

  28. She speaks for me. Anyone that does not have chronic pain could ever understand. With an acute problem people are there for you, they bring casseroles and empathy. With chronic pain it becomes normal to EVERYONE, but the person experiencing it. Talk about it and you lose friends, family. They don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t help anyway. I pray to be taken from this world often.

  29. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 20 + years ago and I truly believe that I have a genetic form of the disease. I am to the point of actually praying for death because of the hellatious pain I live with 24 ,7,365 . I now know what my late father went through!
    Signed, Mary in AZ

  30. as a chronic pain sufferer i wish i could make people understand how we feel most people have no clue

  31. This lady can drive
    Walk unaided
    Carry bags
    Lift a kettle
    I fall
    Constantly
    I gave up on "specialists"
    Between 1 to 10 how bad is your pain?
    Honestly???!

  32. Nobody around me knows I have pain all the time – only when my back spasms and i can’t walk right they see something is wrong but everyone has back pain…the other back pain, not the one that you know is not “normal” because nothing makes it better except opioids which I can’t take anymore.
    I’m trapped but planning my escape.

  33. This was so well done! I need to see a second one! I am suffering severe chronic back and SI joint and hip pain and worse at night when I need to sleep. Doctors guess or don’t even treat you. I have little faith in the medical field these days. I can only pray now for a miracle cure.

  34. Yup, me too. Passed on a date today AND lay at the pool with my sister. I am in bed and can't even get comfortable to sleep at night. It is literally a living hell.

  35. I'm 29 and I've been like this since 18… anxiety is at it's worse because I have to work to pay all of these specialists… I truly wonder if I will ever be able to bring life into this world whilst this life of mine is being drained and doctors will not stress this issue…
    #findacure…please

  36. That broken arm analogy is what I always think about, how nice it would be if that the case instead of this chronic pain.

  37. EXACTLY! I JUST CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE OLD ME HOW I WAS BEFORE THIS WAY THAT I AM NOW! WANTING SO BAD TO JUST TAKE TIME BACK INTO THAT TIME AGAIN WITH NO SYMPTOMS BUT BEING WHOLE AND LIGHT AGAIN

  38. I have always struggled to explain how I feel and what I go through on a daily basis and somehow you have explained word for word what I go through. I can now show my friends and family this video so that they can understand better. Thank you so much for giving me the abit to let people know how I feel. ❤

  39. I've had back and sciatica pain since I was 9 years old. Though I don't view my pain person who clings cause it just a reaction to something wrong in my body. But I do view my depression that way. I can relate to everything else she says. I usually don't get help until the pain is at a 9 or 10 just because I always feel like I'm in the doctors way or wasting their time and was told as much over and over again in my teens. I know a lot of people have it worse than me but I don't feel lucky at all. Even though it only pains when out or aggravated. But I will always have to be careful with my back for all my life.

  40. Thank you for sharing. I feel so identified, is hard not being understood and to have to struggle with pain every single day, and even though you are in pain you have to "put on a mask" and smile because people don't like to be around sad suffering people

  41. I really adore this back pain guide, do a google search "Kenzαnο αyb". Quite often, the position of my knees, hips and back is maintained because of this. As I get out of bed early in the day, I really don`t feel pain any more. The condition of my knees has tremendously improved ever since I started using this..
    .

  42. I envy people who come home from a long day n say,"ooh i need a lie down"n they hv d most restful sleep n wake up feeling great. I stay under a hot shower most hours of d day just to lull myself to sleep.but i wake up from d pain anyway.i miss my old self.i dont wana say stay strong coz u tell urself that everyday.i just want to say i know how it feels n im sorry this is happening to u too

  43. I suffer too and I am 13 years old it has been 3 years and it is hard and I am told you are faking it you need more therapy and more and I do feel alone

  44. Omg. I feel you. I am sorry for your struggle. Depression has set in for me now. Life is passing me by. There is no joy because pain took its place. I injured my back being a nurse for decades. I gave my heart and soul to help others and it has robbed me of being able to dress myself, shower and use the bathroom even, by myself. I wake up crying almost in a coma state wondering if the pain has killed me or if I'm still alive. I cant cook or clean. I cant sleep some days. I just breathe and wait for death. The first few years I tried every treatment I could find and therapy and pill and oil and exercise and stretching and heat and bemer, electro magnetic therapy and oxygenation and infra red light therapy and raising my frequency and needles and anti inflammation diet etc etc etc….therapy to trick my brain into believing what I tell it. Prayer, meditation, music, massage …..I have lost hope and friends and dignity. I am wheeled in a chair if I go out and am treated like I'm retarded and I am called THE DISABLED …..Its not something I ever thought would be my story. After being a basket ball player and on the swim team and jogging the 10k monthly and always hiking and loving gardening and being active. I would jog in the rain as a younger me and think about how the rest of the world was missing out…..now I'm the one gaining weight and inches desperately wishing I could have my old life back waiting for the silver lining of this tragedy… wondering why, too overtaken by my pain to survive. Now terrified of the ending….
    Fully aware that pain can be intense enough to stop my heart…and wonder as I move in and out of consciousnesses if I'm ready to cross over spiritually but knowing I cant hang on anymore physically….
    My heart goes out to every person that knows this type of pain….may there be peace at the end of the journey

  45. This is me to a exactly. I was born with it and struggled my whole life. When I was little they were worried about my development, when I was a child they called it growing pains. When I was a teen I was diagnosed with klifelter's but they called the pain unrelated. In college they called it stress. In graduate school depression and anxiety and in the work places after 10 jobs in 6 years they call it fibromyalgia and tell me to change my lifestyle. Today is a bad day. Cant get out of bed. Have no energy to even lift a glass. I'm not depressed, I'm not stressed and it is not in my head. Bc I want more than anything to run, to work. To play. I'm stuck only physically not mentally for in my mind and with the internet to connect I am free. Thanks for this video. It helps to know I'm not alone.

  46. This is so spot on. You slowly loose your best of friends, the people you have worked with for so long and even your family. The worst of all is that they turn against you. You hear the snickers in the background and comments just out your reach of hearing. You slowly get to the point where what you used to be able to hide, can’t be hidden anymore. Don’t ever give up or look for sympathy, but realize that everyone is looking out for number one. And you are indeed number one, only second to God.

  47. Ty 💜
    Going though a real bad episode
    Myself
    I'm sick of myself I feel sorry for myself
    I turned bitter an twisted I've lost my spark the me I'm no better than next person
    Tho I looked at many areas for explain to cure me
    Emotion
    Spiritual
    Food
    Bread
    Gluten
    Meat
    Vega
    Religion
    Other than trying to sell my soul
    I won't
    I wonder what I've done or not done
    You can't go bk
    Tho forward
    Every time wk month getting harder
    An no help today I went to two doctors one was training the other an kinda bear my soul an pleaded for help my meds not touching it
    One doctor told m they will decrease them
    Not rise them
    Hold on so I go to get help in my time of need an get nothing
    I'm sick of meditation
    I'm sick of looking dressing being
    Old broken l use to have pride
    In my own way
    Now I just exists
    If my mother sister partner child friend told me that they felt crappy
    Was crappy changed I be running them to hospital with them I've had tests they telling m this that tho I'm feeling it
    There's people out there
    Who's worst of they me tho I'm me an I lost me not gain anything from this why why yes why I'm not bad person
    Bad things happen to good ppl
    An maybe I suffering for pass life deed I don't know all I know I'm strong person an right now I'm perfetic
    An I feel nothing but pain shame an drained 💜

  48. I hope I can post this link, it might be a lifeline for some.
    https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/corporate/about-health-canada/public-engagement/external-advisory-bodies/canadian-pain-task-force/report-2019.html

  49. suffer also one thing that stops me doing things i used to do , used to scuba dive loads , used to be able to decorate my home but i struggled to do part of what i used to do now im very limited

  50. Sadly mostly true. However I don’t say the word ppl and what they think for years in my thinking …. soon I stopped talking about my pain with ppl because several years ago, only after few month of its advent, I realised ppl don’t understand and don’t want to understand. Human being is a f… up entity and I seriously don’t have physical energy to think of if they care the person in front of them has a daily problem. As Virginia Woolf says: “human beings have neither kindness nor faith no charity beyond what serves to increase the pleasure of the moment. “

  51. I've been going through this for a few years now and it feels like you're alone and you're exactly right I'm being pushed around from Doctor to doctor with no real help I feel so alone thank you for this video

  52. Ive had severe crohns now for 6 years, every day is a struggle. Everybody else says " oh my back hurts" or, " oh my feet hurt" and i just got to say, "buddy i live in pain, i cant take two tylenol and be all better, i know good and damn well im in pain and always will be".

  53. Thank you for giving me a voice. I have something to share with Those who I know care about me to help them understand more. What a kind gift. Much love to you for all of your hard work

  54. I'm hear you! My body hurts all over, I went little walk a couple of hours ago, I burst into tears when a nice lady looked concerned by my struggle.
    Now I'm in bed feeling like I have had enough of me.

  55. I am going through the same for 30 years now I am suffering from depression then psoriasis diabetes high blood pressure and then keep losing all my family just me left I have two children and I don’t want to be a burden to them so I am begging god to just take me too I have a husband who think that nothing happened to me and he expects me to do so much things most of the time I just feel like I can barely move I feel like my body is shutting down and the pain is there night and day I don’t know when I have a good laugh, I feel your pain mam people like us is going through a lot and no one knows what it’s feels like they say I have pain here and pain there but they don’t know what it’s feels to have this kind of pain from your head to your feet your whole complete body so sometimes words that come out of their mouths can really be hurting more . So my dear brothers and sisters we have to lived with this it’s like we are dying but very slowly and no one can see it I just hope that god blessed us all

  56. She's a wonderful actress with such a soothing voice!
    Thanks to the producers of this film – this is a very, VERY real situation!!!

  57. It feels as though pain really has aged me so much faster than what should have been. The warnings were so there for so many years, and here I sit today, getting worse all the time, and the doctors would tell me, can't know for sure where it's coming from. But I sure know, and I also am the one who feels the pain more and more with new body sensations and ridiculous limitations which gets scarier all the time. Talk about feeling rejected by family and community and doctors… all the while It feels like I am slowly, but surely losing my mind, but we are to "buck" up each and every new day! It gets depressing.

  58. I feel like this, too. It’s not our fault. It feels bad enough being in chronic pain. I get treated differently as I think we all do. I’ve advocated endlessly, exhausted. I have fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, many rotator cuff tears, arthritis, and currently frozen shoulder. ‘The medical community’ and general public can’t see my suffering either. I cry alone. I feel alone. Yes, we appear to be too strong and I’m friendly too so no one knows. I live in care early and even the staff don’t help me because of how I look and choose to behave. I am rude sometimes too. I do say I’m not doing well at the moment thanks for asking. How are you? If you can accept that it’s okay not to push yourself like your doing. Good for you for speaking about it. It’s a viscous circle for me at the moment. I was searching for ‘what job can I do with chronic pain and physical disabilities when I found you.

    Ranting in here but I do have understanding and although I can’t help like I’d like, I’d like you to know you’re not alone like you’ve shared this; so others don’t feel alone. I’m at one of the lowest points in my life. And yes, again you’re spot on as all they want to do is medicate with antidepressants when those can be tricky or have too many other side effects. For me, the pain clinics for nerve blocks each week helped my back immensely! I asked for them in my frozen shoulder and while I got better range of motion temporarily, I overdid the stretches to get better and am paying for it dearly.

    I pray and wish they would put more funding into chronic pain conditions and coverage for healing modalities that are currently out of pocket. Sorry, rambling again. Thank you for being you! I don’t care if you’re part not you, as pain isn’t our fault. We try or give up and either way, it still isn’t our fault. If we can learn to adapt it’s okay. I’m passed that point as I’ve lost everything. I’m now just desperately trying to find meaning and do something to earn money. My heart goes out to all of you if you’re suffering. May you stay as fit in mind and body as possible without overdoing it. Easier said than done I realize. Gentlest of hugs all.

  59. I use kratom once in awhile and a few puffs off a joint; seems to help with the sweating and overall pain. people need to have this illness for a few days and then they would see we are not hypochondriacs; seeking attention.. I'm ashamed of myself for not being able to pray or read or walk anywhere.. I'm retired but bored silly because I was a professional musician/songwriter and I can't even tune my guitars!.. I long to die and get out of this hell hole world.. I see no hope; even Jesus has abandoned me and that was the last straw for me.. I've been betrayed so many times that I believe I caught this after severe trauma and withdrawal from medical Morphine.. I've been in this Hell for 23 years now!.. they want everyone to turn to heroin and I have been tempted to try and get some but it probably has fentanyl in the cut; so that's out of the question.. God Bless you fellow sufferer's and try to out smart this satanic curse from the Devil..🐉

  60. I really appreciate that you said everything loud and proud. I have been diagnosed with chronic pain and fnd, unable to walk for a year. My marriage is falling apart, because I am bitter and cold. I don't know what to do to find some hope. Oh how I would love to go back to old me.

  61. I have had chronic pain for about 3 years. I have lost me. I have degenerative spine disease. I have had 2 back surgeries, but I was not helped. Still have pain 24/7. I was an extremely active person with many hobbies. I have a great marriage and get along well with all family members. This lady’s story sounds identical. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I were no longer here. I pray constantly.

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