Dad says life’s like a
With shelves full of products
to choose from.
I like supermarkets because
I get to know my family better.
Lucia loves everything and doesn’t look at
the price. That makes dad really nervous.
He likes shopping discounts.You need to look the price-quality relation. There are many frauds here.
Let’s go get the soaps. Why do you need that?Bad thing about picking
is that on the other shelf
there’s always something better.We could buy a new TV and throw
away that trash. It’s not trash, you can see everything nicely.
– Yes, it’s from the Stone age.There are people who love
new things, like Lucia,
and those like my dad who keep
the old things.
This one’s better. This one can go in the living room,
that one no. – That one’s bigger. Yes, but it’s not for the living room.
– Curo, which one do you prefer? The kid’s not crazy. I prefer the more
expensive one, but we’ll get the cheaper one. Mom, convince him
– Isn’t this one prettier? See? The kids have the point. We’re taking this one, this one’s good.Dad’s predictable
when it comes to shopping
like Spain in football or
Gille and the vacuum cleaner.
What are you doing?
Savages! You’re truly the worst.
I’ve had it with you. I’m taking this from your allowance.
– Dad is the decision maker in the family.That’s why in the end we got the TV that
Lucia picked.
But this time, it would’ve been
better if they got the cheaper one
because this TV would
bring a lot of trouble in this house.
THE SERRANO episode 45
“Body fluids” Before you came, I was feeling down. Why? Because this is one weird family. There was something between
Marcos and me… Marcos, your brother?
– He’s not my real brother. We started dating, family
wasn’t too happy about it. Then we split up but
it was hard for us. We live together,
we see each other every day… It was horrible.
– Horrible. You’re over him now? Of course, silly.
I’m with you now. I think love should always be like that. You fall in love with someone, that
someone reciprocates the love, and everything’s perfect. Hi. How’s… I have to go too.
Talk to you tomorrow. I’ll walk you out.
– No, I’ll do it, if you want me to. – Okay. Funny. You’re doing well with that girl? Yes. We’re good.
-I’m glad. Sorry about everything I
told you about her. You make a good couple.
– That’s ok, all’s forgotten. How’s it going with Alex?
– Good, really good. The problems we got ourselves in. – Careful… Careful, you’ll hurt yourself. It’s better if everyone has their
own life. –Yes.. No problems at home..
We can be happy. I’m happy.
– So am I. – You too? Yes. I’m fine.
– I’m glad. Diego, I’ll get the phone I need
to call Tete. What is it?
– Nothing. So why do you look like a scared lamb? You’re in love, aren’t you? What’s that boy’s name?
Alex? – Yes. You’re wonderful. I’ll go get the phone. You’ll see, Mari Tere!
Tell her to give me back my ball! If it’s a boy: Santiago.
If it’s a girl: Carmen. Negative. – Nothing, then Saturnina,
like your grandma No, Diego, it’s negative. I’m not pregnant. Lucia, please, you felt sick this morning. That test has expired.
– No, it says so here. Don’t worry, we’ll keep trying. We’ve been trying for two months,
lighting candles to saints . Maybe we are praying to the wrong saint.
– Two months is nothing. That’s not a lot of time.
– Just a second… sorry. When you were with Sergi, did it take you a lot of time to
get pregnant? – No way. When we’d decide, it only took us a month
before I’d get pregnant. I couldn’t even get used to the thought. Us too.
Martha and I… When we’d decide it would
happen instantly. What worries me is that we’re
not that young anymore. Yes, we could be late.
It’s my fault. – No. Let me tell you why. This was all
shooting at nothing. I shoot strongly, but I miss.
I just need to aim better from now on. You mean you and your soldier
got fixed? And the war is about to start?
– That’s right. No more fixing. The conquest of Normandy begins now, I’m pulling out the heavy weaponry
of Diego Serrano. –Yeah? Yes, heavy weaponry.
– Okay, then follow me… Eva… It’s 10 o’clock honey. Get up, don’t
oversleep. You’re so strong kid. God! We’re crazy. Get out Marcos.
We’ll get caught. – I’m going. Admit it, it looks nice.
And the things you said… Admit you were wrong.
– I preferred the other one. I preferred the old TV. Calm down, this is no circus!
Listen to me. Who touches the TV looses the allowance
and all rights. And no vacation.
Are we clear? That includes you too. You play nice,
but there’s always 2 people in a fight That’s right.
– Understood? Yes! We can watch TV as much
as we’d like! What’s this? A remote. What is it
for? For me to change the channels. No way!
– Gille!No vacation.We’re doomed, this is the end.
– Go wash the toilet brush, we’re eating it. No one will believe this
was an accident. if we hurry, we can catch the train
and come back in ten years. Maybe dad forgets by then.
– How about we told the truth? That would be the best. Or… someone got in the house and stole it. Then it couldn’t have been our faultAt 11 a.m., a thief came quietly
and got in without anyone noticing.
Ho broke the glass with a strong hit
and snuck in the house.
First thing that caught his eye were
the DVD and new TV.
He put them in a bag… – And looked
for more valuable objects.
Later, he got through the back
door without leaving a trail.
No one here broke the TV or
the DVD. They were stolen. Everything happened the way we told you. If you say something we’ll turn
you into a frog. What we’re doing is scary but…
no turning back now. You can’t tell on us,
even if Diego takes out the brush. That’s okay Diego,
it’s only 2 months. You’ll score at one point and impregnate Lucia.
– You just need to relax. The waiting is eating you alive.
– Lucia said the same thing to me, but I keep trying like an idiot,
and I can’t see the results And she said it all went
smoothly with Sergi. Maybe Lucia’s uterus doesn’t know
it switched owners and doesn’t recognize you. And it’s right
– Stop saying stupidities. The problem is, my ammunition
is lazy. I shoot in blank. And Lucia needs
good bullets, like Clint’s. Clint who?
– Clint Eastwood. With Candela…
I touched her, she got pregnant. My sperm is like a GPS,
remote controlled. Well done, what else can I say.
I’m glad for you. You’re really helping.
– Calm down. You know what your problem is?
It’s muscle atrophy. You have to wake them up.
– Like national team. Cold-warm therapy,
to wake up the muscles. Good one, Santi.
Cold and warm water. To wake up the sperm and make
them like a lightning. Yours is depressed, introvert. They need to liven up.
– What you’re saying is incredibly stupid. Is this the time to be stupid,
to experiment? Let me tell you…
Those muscles can’t inflammate, you know. It’s not called inflammation.
– It works with football players. Yes Lucia? Tell me. Lucia, we were robbed!
Vulture method! They got into the house in the middle
of the day and robbed us! And everything happened quickly,
they were prepared. We heard some noise
and stayed in our rooms from fear. This is horrible. You’re okay?
– Yes. – Horror. What happened?
– What? Look at this! Harlem! Diego, see if anything’s missing. Of course it is! They didn’t take the books
but TV and DVD! They didn’t even leave the warranty!
– Good thing you’re okay. Let them take everything as long as
you’re okay. Did you get scared? The thief didn’t scare me.
He looked evil but… – Wait! Looked? Didn’t you say you were
in your rooms? Yes, but we peeked to see if
the thief left. You’re crazy!
You put your brother’s life at risk! Something could’ve happened.
You could’ve been kidnapped. What did you see son?
– Well… I saw… He was tall,
like if you stood on a bench, he had a scar,
very ugly… And what else? – Black cloak…
– Enough, you’re terrified. I doubt he saw that much.
– Lucia, let’s go to the police. Don’t touch anything, there might
be some clues. Horrible.
– Yes. When you think everything’s going
well, somebody comes and crashes those illusions. Marcos… I don’t know why yesterday happened. We have our relationships
and we’re fine. I forgot all about it already.
Nothing happened. Forgotten.
– Yes. You know, we should all get
to know each other better. Oh, going out, hanging out. I’d like for you and Alex
to be friends. And you should get to know Rachel. Should we do dinner tonight?
– Dinner? All together? Sure. Okay.
– Fine. Well… Alex and I want to go
together on vacation, but imagine what would happen
if we told that to the family. Dad would say:
“What vacation! That boyfriend of yours wants no vacation,
but to take out his gun. He wants no vacation…” – And then
he would start with the ‘dirty look’. What’s that? – Diego Serrano’s
famous dirty look. He sees two football players hugging
and he thinks they’re gay. He’s like that, yes. Hey, why don’t we go to the
vacation together? Why don’t we all go together? – No! – No! No, I’ll tell you why. It’s nice going as couples, but Eva and I’ve already been together.
-Not as a couple, of course. With family, parents, grandma… I’m really clumsy.
– Do you need help? I’m really clumsy.
I’ll go get dried. I’ll get her a towel. We’re not doing well huh?
– We’re doing horrible. You can tell everything.
– No. You can’t tell anything, it’s all forgotten.
– Look what I did! I didn’t know what to do,
I was really nervous… Eva, you can’t tell anything. What’s wrong?
– I can’t believe. I was thinking. If your dad doesn’t like us
going together on vacation, we’ll escape.This is a muscle problem.
How do you take care of it? Amputation?
No, no.
Warm-cold therapy.
Let’s see…First cold, then warm.
That will wake up my muscles,
and I’ll impregnate Lucia
from far away if necessary.
It’s cold but what the hell…I’m freezing!
I can’t take it.
Now warm water! Contrast…Balls! Put some cream on the inflammated
area and it will be cured. Be more careful with the warm
water next time. I was showering and hot water just
started running all of a sudden. Wear wide pants for a while. That area is really sensitive.
– But it will be okay? The area? When I recover, I mean… If the damage is big maybe I
won’t be able to have kids… The burns are not serious, but that area is going to be sensitive
for a few weeks. Don’t worry. We would like, you know, to have
more kids. We’re really looking forward to it.
We have 5 already, but everyone brought their own,
and we’d like one of ours. And I’m worried these burns will
make the sperm run away. No one gets sterile because of this. Only if you had mumps
in your adulthood. Mumps? Diego, you had them a month ago.
-It’s the mumps. That’s why I couldn’t get it done.
It makes a man sterile. Don’t worry, there’s only 30% chance for that. We can do spermogram, just to make sure. Spermogram?
– Fill this for me, and we’ll have the results in a day or two. Lucia, we can’t have kids, I’m crippled. Damn mumps…
And he wants me to fill this up? How when I’m still…
– Don’t panic Diego. Calm down. Don’t worry until we get the results. How can I fill this up?
It’s huge. Kids are here.
They are calm now, but I can’t even think about
what could’ve happened. He could’ve been a murderer or a rapist. But he wasn’t. Kids, this is officer Olmedo.
He’ll ask you questions about the robbery. Do you have a badge like in the movies?
– I do. You carry a gun too. Can I see it?
Have you ever killed anyone. Curo, you don’t ask that.
– Don’t worry about it. You know what? Criminals are afraid of me.
As soon as they see me, they run away. Kids, I’ll ask you some things. Yesterday you said you saw the robber.
What did he look like? Big and ugly.
– Okay. It says he had a black cloak too.
He took TV and DVD. Did he take anything else? So you can get all the stolen things back
through your insurance. – Yes. He also stole a console.
– And 15 games. And a ball. The worst part is he got my T-shirt
signed by Beckham. And… – And nothing else Curo.
– Okay. That would be all. Luckily, there’s a shop with surveillance
camera in front of your house. Everything indicates that the burglar
got out through the gate. So everything’s recorded?
– And when you look at the tape… When we look at the tape,
we’ll know who got into the house, we’ll arrest that person and he will
spend some time in jail. How nice.
– Ma’am, have a nice day. Do you have enough information?
– Yes. Woah! He took out the
heavy weaponry. If you’re like that, I can’t imagine her.
– What happened to you brother? What happened?
Screw your stupid advice. Because of that stupidity about cold
and hot water, I burned everything down there.
– Not hot water, warm. You went to see the doctor, right?
– Of course. Apart from cream and medicine
for the burns, I did a fertility test.
Because I had mumps, I’m a bit… sterile. So we did the analysis.
– Impossible, you have 3 sons. Santi, mumps!
That’s why he’s sterile, crippled. That’s a maybe.
– Maybe… Not definitely. It can be a yes or a no.
We’ll see what the results say. I have a bad feeling, Fiti.
It’s been going in the wrong direction from the beginning. You know what hurts the most? I wanted a baby with Lucia and now
it can’t happen. Hey, you hang in there. Think positive. There’s a solution for everything these days.
And especially with fertility… You can always go to the sperm bank. It’s like a normal bank but you’re
taking money from other people’s accounts. What banks!
I want my kid. Mine and Lucia’s.
– It’s an option. Instead of adopting a child,
you adopt sperm. Gross! No way!
That’s against nature. How can you put somebody else’s
seed in Lucia? Wait a minute. It may not be his seed but
it would be Lucia’s baby. You’d raise it, it’s the closest
thing to fatherhood. Just like with Tete and Eva only from
the beginning. It makes sense. – And you’d love
it equally or even more. When you see it’s face will you even
remember whose seed it was? That’s unacceptable.
Nothing can replace a mother. We have the mother.
– Listen… When I think about it, it’s
not a bad idea. It’s not the same but it’s not bad.
Just to ask around, let’s go to that sperm bank. Assuming
I’m sterile.
. Let’s do it.
– Yes. Hi.
– Eva, what happened yesterday… Nothing happened. We’re forgetting
again. – I’m not. Eva, wait a minute.
– No. I forgot nothing.
It wasn’t a mistake. – It’s impossible. I’m with Alex, you’re with Rachel.
– I broke up with her. Will you break up with Alex? Hello? Yes. Just a second, She’s here. Alex… yes. Wait a minute… I need the phone, hang up!
– Tete, I’m talking. Richy is calling me from the village.
Just a second. – Eva! Will you answer already?
It’s been ringing for 2 hours. Answer! Stop it already! Sorry.
– You’ll regret this. This is the last time you
raised your hand at your sister. If you’re hysterical, find someone else.
This is the last time! Man…
– She got her well! 30 euros.
They even pay them. They’re all scam.
Lazy, useless people… They do themselves and then sell it.
They own nothing. What do you want, Santi?
Robert Redford doesn’t come here. Guys sell body fluids here. Dicks! Santi, we came for information,
we’re passing by. Common people come here,
people from the streets. – There you go. This one is gross.
How can you explain that later. Take this with the crest.
– Calm down Diego… These must be reserves.
If others fail. What others? All of them are scams.
-Enough already.This is horrible. Imagine one of these
as the father of my child.
No way.Man! Adopting unknown sperm.What if it’s of some psycho
or a terrorist?
No one here is asked to give their biography.
Santi’s right.
Sorry miss. When I relax I forget
the vial. Woah! Fiti and the brothers!
You’re spreading your seeds across the globe? I’m out of here, Fiti.
I’m getting sick in my stomach. I don’t need information.
No need. Bye, Santi.
What’s wrong? My head says: Alex.
My heart says: Marcos! And I go back and forth day and night!
I can’t sleep. I hit Tete.
I’m horrible. Wait a minute. In the right corner we
have Marcos Serrano. 70 kg
and interrupted match. And in the other corner,
new title candidate, 75 kg and not a lost fight so far. See? Alex is great for me,
and he loves me. And I love him. That’s it If I don’t love him now, I will!
– Eva, calm down. You’re miserable. You’re terrified. You love Marcos and you know it. You’re traumatized because for you,
Marcos means pain. Africa, I’m sick of it. I tried with
Marcos and it was horrible. And it will always be horrible.
With Alex, everything’s simple. He makes my life better. He saw me kissing
Marcos yesterday and said nothing to me. Nothing!
– We need to pack and go on a vacation.
To be relaxed. Enough with Alex and Marcos!
Marcos… Think about it. Eva, have you thought about
what you’re going to do? I have nothing to think about.
I’m with Alex and I’m great. You and I have tried many times and
it was always awful. What could possibly change now?
– I don’t know who do you think you’re fooling. You love me. You’re making a fool
of yourself with that guy. Don’t fool yourself. It bothers you I’m with him? I
can’t be happy without you? Go to hell!
– You know what’s going on? Do you know why you’re like this?
Because you’re kissing Alex but thinking about me. Move.
– No, Stop it! Eva! We’re doomed. The police
will look at the footage and catch us.
– They’ll send me to a juvie. And no vacation.
– How about we use our allowances to bribe people from the store?
– We can’t do anything with that. You dad’s going to kill you.
– I know what we need to do. Steal the tape and replace it
with another one, with the burglar. That’s right, we replace it and burglar appears! Only, where can we get a burglar
with Frankenstein’s face? It’s all about special effects.
Curo, go home and bring Marcos’s camera.
Are we together in this? Yes! Hey! No jumping!
– Santi, relax… Why do you need a kid when you already
have a zoo in your house. – You don’t understand. Kid is the greatest happiness. I’m worried
Lucia’s going to get disappointed when we get the results.
We wanted that kid so much. Don’t worry, you’re not sterile
maybe. And there’s always the sperm bank. Again with those dicks!
I don’t want a nephew from those disgusting people! They sell body fluids like sodas!
-That’s right. I was thinking… I think you can choose genes
with a certain warranty. And it’s better to adopt a familiar
than an unfamiliar sperm. To be family. So I was thinking, I’d like it to be my best friend’s
sperm. Fiti’s. Mine? – Sorry, maybe it’s too much, but I’d really like that.
That’s what I feel and I’m saying it. Unbelievable… That’s the most wonderful
thing I’ve ever experienced. Do you know hat you’re asking of me?
That’s the greatest friendship proof. Diego, I’d give a kidney, a liver for you,
my arm! How can I not give you my sperm?
You just say it, when do you need it? I’ll fill up one, two, ten bottles! When
do you want it? Do what you want with it!
– Nice. You skipped your own brother,
asking the seed from this stranger! What about me? What about my seed?
My sperm is crippled? Santi… don’t be insulted.
I asked him, because he’s my friend and he’s younger.
-What do you mean younger? My sperm has lived a lot, it’s more mature. Yes, but… – It’s better if we
mixed the bottles and let the best one win. May I? Sad song. Marcos, may I know what’s happening with
you and Eva? I think you’ve seen everything.
– Yes, I have. Are you together or are you
hurting each other again? Enough of that. – When will
you leave us alone? First my dad, then my uncle,
now you! –I’ve never interfered but now’s the moment.
– Do I interfere in your life? Then don’t do it to me. Marcos, I do it because I feel
bad seeing you like this. You cry and suffer in the
corners! – What do you know? You know nothing. You think you’re so smart?
Your advice are not welcome. Not welcome? – No.
– I’m older and more experienced. You left my dad and left for Barcelona, and then you got divorced and
came back here. Don’t tell me what to do. Marcos, I love your dad so much.
– I love Eva too! So what? How long until you forgive us for that? Okay. Let’s assume I came her just because. But not only do I love your dad… We know how to make each other
happy. That’s love. You know… Sometimes love is not enough. Besides, there’s a right time
for any relationship. Maybe this isn’t the right time
for yours. Nothing, think about it. Just think about it, okay? What is it, Fiti? Why are you crying? What is it?
– No, it’s the chlorine. Tell me, what’s wrong? Candela… I’ve never felt so loved
in my entire life. Diego asked me to give my sperm
to him and Lucia. Me, his best friend.
He wants a familiar one. What do you think? What? We made a deal. If it turns out that
Diego’s sterile because of mumps, he wants my seed to make a child.
Do you get it? – Fiti… And how do you think to do that?
– I’ll give him a bottle and we’ll see. Are you crazy? Both you and Diego! That must be some kind of joke.
– It’s not a joke. We went to a sperm bank.
Blind people must go there. And he turned to me.
It was the most beautiful thing. It’s a proof of brotherhood and friendship. But you women don’t get it.
– Wait a minute, let me get this straight… Diego and you decided that you and
Lucia are having a child. No, it won’t be mine, I’m giving it. That will be the best present for a friend. Yes, the best, you are giving
away your sperm around… What about me? I’m your wife, I think I have a saying. Sperm is mine. We’re wasting it anyway. We’re wasting so much. It’s like giving to the poor what you
don’t need. Where are you going? Do we know our goal?
– To get the tape. And replace it with ours.
– We’ll do it in a second. Nothing, let’s get to it.I need to distract the security.Excuse me, I saw a lady stealing caviar. Really? Tell me where.
– Phase 2.Stealing the key from the guard.Then the riskiest part.
The guard trips and falls.
When the can chaos happens,
I take the key and give it to Curo.
Curo gives it to Gille who
opens up.
Gille, you know what to do.If everything goes as planned, in less
than 3 minutes
we’ll swap the tapes and leave
like nothing happened.
And, as always, operation successful.Diego Serrano’s spermgram.Sperm movability,
Fertility level: high.
– Lucy! What is it?
– Diego… he’s fertile! We can have a child.
I was scared because of those mumps. I’m really happy honey.
But listen to this. You don’t know about the latest idea
of our idiots. Listen, this is horrible.
– Let me call him. Listen to me first, you may not want
to talk to him after hearing this. Oh please. What is it?
– We thought we married brazens, right? – Yes.
– No, they’re amoebas. If they’re any more stupid you can’t tell
because there are no microscopes for that. Okay, but you’ll tell me later.
– No, stop it! Lucia! Lucy…
there’s something I need to tell you! Diego’s given up. – What?
– He thinks he’s sterile. But don’t you worry, he’s
got a great solution. He asked for Fiti’s sperm to
impregnate you. They’ve arranged everything.
– You’re kidding me? – No. What does he think?
That I’m a walking uterus? No, they were born stupid.
Fiti’s going to be so disappointed when he finds out Diego’s fertile. He can’t offer the proof of his
deep and meaningful friendship. Cadnela, he could never do that!
Well no way. – Well yeah. Actually, he could. Nice huh?
I do a good job. And this is my nephew.
He’s even more handsome. The Martinez’s are all pretty.
– Give me some cash… You’ll get a slap.
– Dad… Can we talk?
– Yes. Right away. Tell me. What’s wrong? I was thinking.
I’d like to go to London to take a course. London? What are you saying? If you want
to learn English I’ll buy you some tapes. No. I have a problem and…
– Wait a minute. Do you use protection?
– It’s not that. – Eva? Yes. If I keep seeing her I don’t know
what could happen. I have to go somewhere. – If it’s
her boyfriend, that will pass. Think about it.
I can see her looking at you. I can see it…
– Dad… Love is not enough to be happy.
I’m destroying both of our lives. I think it’s for the best if I went.
– What are you going to do in London? You’re still a kid, you don’t know
the language… – What would you do if you were destroying a life
of the person you love? Lucia? What would I do? Leave. What do you mean you’re leaving?
Don’t ditch me. I have problems too. And I’m not going
anywhere and leaving you! Raul… – Nothing!
– I have to leave. But I’ll be in London, you
can come visit. Visit? No way.
I don’t leave my friends. Marcos, if you leave you’re an idiot
and you can forget about me. Hey… he’ll come around. He fires up quickly.
You know him. Thanks. Cheers to us, friendship, the kids we have and the one we are yet to have.
Huh Diego? That’s all I can think about.
Will it be bald like Diego? But when I think you might be sterile
because of mumps… You know it doesn’t have to look like me.
– That’s important. It should be a familiar face, that’s
important. I was thinking about it and the worst case scenario,
there’s a solution. What is that if you’re sterile. We could…
– Diego, say it. – Okay. I was thinking about the way to do it. And I talked to Fiti. I asked him to borrow us some sperm. Santi too. So we have a back up too. Fiti… you’d really do that for us?
You too Santiago? Boys, I’m impressed.
– At first I thought it sucked. It hurt me, since it’s such an
intimate act, but thinking about it, it’s
a very original gesture. That’s right. A toast.
To my uterus and sperm. Whosever. Fiti… I hope you’ll be good in bed. If I don’t get pregnant the first time… Wait, no… There’s been a misunderstanding here. We’re talking about a lab.
Scientific fact. From a bottle, no contact.
– Oh please! A bottle! That’s so cold.
For me, a child is a fruit of love. And act of friendship.
Not something cold from a bottle. Right, Fiti?
– I… – Santiago, how about you? I agree about the bottle,
but whatever you say. Diego, this is getting out of control.
This is out of mind. We couldn’t look at that child’s face. Lucia! Pay attention. Lucia, don’t count me in for coitus. I am at a situation where I cannot choose. Diego, I’m not interested in
Lucia, but I have to admit… I mean, she’s not bad she’s hot, and
if Candela allows it… Shut up already!
You’re hitting on my wife! Let’s clarify something.
Shut up, don’t hit on her! We’re talking about vials,
genetic engineering, placing the seed from the vial in the uterus. We’re not talking about disgusting things!
– Diego, stop! Don’t proceed, I know you.
That’s all great. If we can count on our back up, Fiti is so generous that it’s still
giving me chills. Don’t ruin the moment.
This is a touching moment. Right Candela?
– Yes, very. Another toast.
To friendship! To our friendship without boundaries!
-Diego, a toast. Marcos… I dreamed about you. I don’t know… I don’t know if it was a dream or
a nightmare. I haven’t slept in 2 days. I’ll let you sleep, I just wanted
to surprise you. Surprise me? You’re scaring me. 2 tickets for tonight’s concert. I can’t go.
I’m going out with Alex. No, it’s for you.
To go together. I can’t. I’ll turn into a pumpkin at midnight. I love it when you laugh. I wish I could’ve made you laugh more. Made you happy.
But I didn’t know how. Marcos…
– Don’t. It’s not my dad, family or circumstances. I made a decision. You’ve cried too much because for me. And when you cry, I… Promise me you’ll be happy from now on. That you’ll sleep at night and eat well. Okay. I promise. You’ll see. Yes, I will. I have to go. See you later? Tete… I’ll give you my PJ if you want to. The one you love. You’ll borrow it to me?
– I give it to you.Mother of God, how can I do this
to Diego? I’ll put a smudge on his marriage.
That’s bad. But they’re really
looking forward to it.
Three seconds of pain for
a child that’s a lifetime of happiness.
I mean, it won’t hurt, it’s not like that.Oh my God, he’s going to
sleep with my wife.
And I came up with it. Idiot.Diego, come for a moment. We went shopping. I bought some underwear for my night
with Fiti. What do you think?
– No, no, nothing’s decided yet. This is getting out of our hands.
– Good, but I’m ‘screwed’ one here and if we do it well, since
I’m ovulating, the sooner we do it, the better.
– I’m telling you, he’ll love it. It’s not ugly. Lucia, don’t worry, I can do it
no matter what you’re wearing. You just lift the gown,
I won’t even look, just impregnate. What will you lift!
The results are not in yet, this is a hypothesis, and even if
it comes to that no thong or anything! Candela, say something.
Fiti’s your husband. I didn’t like it in the beginning either but
since it’s you… I’m just worried they won’t succeed the first time. Maybe second, fifth… I’ll give all of me.
I’ll hit the target immediately. I’ll let you know what to do so Fiti
keeps going. – Okay. Move, you’re wiping me with that cloth.
– Move? Something else? Should I give you the keys to my house,
car and tavern? I should move while you do my wife? I’m doing this for you and
you’re upset with me. I’m watching myself. I didn’t do
anything with Candela in 2 days to do you a favor.
– Yeah right! You’re stealing his wife. You’re a robber!
I’ll say this only once. They have to set the rules.
Codex of behavior. Or it’ll be Sodom and Gomorrah.
– He’s right. Until I get my results no mention of this. And if it turns out it’s
necessary, then it should be done in a blink of an eye. Santi, it’s not a moving trunk,
you come and empty. And no touching.
Head up and look at the ceiling. And one more thing.
Not that I’m criticizing, no, but afterwards, no cigarette, touching,
or talking. You do the business and go home. Deal. You can relax.
Case closed. We’ve discovered who took your
things on this tape. Excellent. Back in the day, you
could keep your doors unlocked in this neighborhood.
Not like today. We’re doing everything in our power. It’s
not very clear that this was a robbery. No? What happened then?
– It’s better if we took a look. There’s the VCR.
And a remote. – Thanks. This was taken by the store camera. We’ll go study.
– Wait… Nobody move.
If it’s not a robbery, someone here is eating the brush,
and toilet paper for desert. Burglar’s description caught our eye
from the start. We thought that a man with such description
couldn’t go unnoticed. That’s the cloak Diego wore at the carnival. And my late husband’s hat.
– Another coincidence! Well that’s Gille on Boliche!
– You’re just imagining. And Curo and Tete missing.
– That clarifies it all. – Hey! When Diego finds out you’re dead! No need for him to find out,
I’ll kill you myself. I was so worried that painting the house
would cost so much. And in the end it will be cheaper than
TV and DVD combined. And it’s free. You know why? No allowances for 25 years. You can’t do that to me. We had so many plans.
Well… that. What plans? We have nothing.
– Yeah right. We’re getting drinks today and
going to the pool tomorrow. I heard about an awesome one
with chicks. You can’t miss that. You’re missing it. I knew I couldn’t convince you. I never could. Here. I brought you… English dictionary,
it’s only collecting dust. And some cash. I didn’t save much but it’s for you. I don’t know what else to give you… If you forget about me, I’ll kick your ass. How can I forgive you? I’ll be bored here
and forget about you? Raul, what are you doing?
– Nothing. Look, we gave this ball
to Marcos when he scored 6 times. He’s gone. Marcos in London… man. In London…
– You knew, right? How could he leave like that?
He didn’t say anything! He didn’t say goodbye.
Don’t mess with me. Where’s Marcos’s clothes?
And the guitar? Raul! Stop joking it’s not funny. Where’s Marcos? He’s gone. Calm down He said… He said goodbye without me realizing. He said he couldn’t make me happy. How can I be happy if he’s gone? – Don’t cry. He would’ve gone anyway, when he thinks of
something, he does it. I should’ve told him I loved him. I don’t care about anything else, I want
to be with him. I haven’t told him that.
And now he’s no longer here. Please… He’ll be back soon. He won’t
be able to stay away. With all those owls drinking
tea at 5 with snobs.
I can see him coming back already. And of course, until he does, I’m
here for anything you need.. Calm down. While he’s gone, I’m your brother. And we’ll be like brother and sister.
A bit of massage, a bit of fighting… Curo, give this to your dad. Dad, you got a letter. Read it to me, my hands are wet. “Diego Serrano’s spermgram. Sperm movabilty,
80%.” I’m not a cripple, I’m fertile, Santi!
– I was sure of it I saw you in the morning.
You were full. Candela, I’m fertile!
– And we thought you weren’t. Fiti doesn’t have to do me favors anymore. I can impregnate her myself,
I’m enough. But… What is it Candela?
– Diego… Fiti and Lucia are doing it already
– What are you talking about? They wouldn’t call you but they’re
at your place doing the job. But… what do you mean job? They were
supposed to wait for the results. It’s vice and adultery. He didn’t respect first article of the codex. And Lucia’s not answering her phone.
– Diego, it’s not Fiti’s fault. Lucia, thought you couldn’t… And we’ve all agreed to do it ASAP. What do you mean?! That’s not how it works! We were supposed to wait for the results! They tricked us, they wanted it! – It’s your fault! Come with me. – Calm down…
– Leave me alone. The service has our van!
– Damn! I’m not going to make it… You’re getting there or my name isn’t… Stop! I said stop. Santi! Please… Calm down, listen to me.
– Are you crazy! This is a bigger force!
– No, it’s a matter of life and death! Did you have a heart attack?
– No. His best friend is doing it with his wife.
Get in Diego! I’m not taking anyone!
– Let me explain. I thought I was infertile,
I couldn’t make a baby. He tried and tried but nothing.
– So I asked my friend to borrow me his sperm.
But they’re in my bed now! I wanted a bottle but they’re in my bed! I got the results and I’m fertile. But she doesn’t know!
Do you get it? Look I have sperm
as much as it is needed! And she’s ovulating!
– C’mon, I’m taking you. Hurry man I’m not going to make it!
Ma’am they’re rolling in the bed… Sorry.
– Our Father… What have you done Lucia? I’m late.
Lucia, your eyes are shining. You enjoyed it! I have
the results here. I’m fertile. What are you saying? I was ovulating,
I thought… It went good with Fiti.
Get used to the thought of having to love this kid
as your own. What kid? I will if I have to, but
what have we done? Diego, you know what? That thing with the letter and the results…
I knew about it. What? You say you knew? You knew it and you slept with Fiti?
You wanted to try another man? And our relationship, what’s it for you?
How could you do that? How could I do that?
– Yes. Sorry, how could you do that?
You’re an animal. Negotiating
with your gang about impregnation. Without asking me.
Yes, I’m just a mother. I felt like a cow waiting for
insemination. Fiti is the first choice, Santi reserve… It’s wicked and senseless,
I haven’t heard anything like that in my life. You’re right, but I really
wanted a child with you. And I thought we shared
the same wish. And I couldn’t. I thought I dried out and
it blurred my mind. And what do the results say?
That you’re fertile. And I’m ovulating now…
– Yes. – So what does that mean? If you’re fertile, and I’m ovulating… Dad, stop stuffing me, I’ll miss my plane. Right away, it’s a long flight. 15 hours
of bus and then plane. And Englishmen have something good.
Beatles. That’s the only good thing. Your uncle made this for the road.
And don’t eat meat. There are crazy cows over there. Dad, since Marcos’s leaving, I’m
sleeping in his bed. You can’t because he’s coming back.
You have your bed. Don’t annoy me, you’ll get some.
– Let him dad. I don’t mind. One more thing… Watch the hooligans
and skinheads. You play football,
but don’t mess with anyone. Be full of respect.
They don’t respect their own parents, but you respect everyone.
Just say “yes, yes…”, “thanks”… Marcos, will you come for my birthday? I don’t think so but I’ll send you a big present. In a box?
– And Marcos, learn some English. You’re capable of returning without
knowing two words. Look where not knowing English got me. I’m going to miss you. Don’t worry. We’ll be here
whenever you come back. And don’t worry. We’ll take care of Eva. Dad, why don’t we go to London
too to learn English? Well… sometimes in life you have to
learn some things on your own. And I can’t drive on the left side. But we’ll go for every holiday.
Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you? No, thanks. I don’t like goodbyes.
This is better. Have a safe trip.The day Marcos left, in the exact same moment,in the Serrano tavern, my
uncle was smelling the ham.
Using the benefits of nice weather,he decided to increase ham and beer
price by 40 cents.
the same amount of time Fiti and
Candela kissed.
And everything indicated that
the amount of kisses would increase.
Just like the number of slaps my brother
would get for his bad grades.
No too far away, Raul dedicated
a goal to his best friend.
And at that time, Marcos dedicated 2 hours,
120 minutes and 7200 seconds of flight
thinking about Eva.That’s how much my grandma Carmen was caring,she was dedicated to make a sweater for Marcosfor cold London winter.When Marcos left, it was 40 degrees.It was so hotthat my dad fell asleep
in Marcos’s bed.
Nearby, in the same house, at the same time,my sister Eva was looking at the ceiling
and biting her lip
so she wouldn’t let a tear down.The she found a 40-word-letter
beneath her pillow.
“Eva, don’t cry.
If you cry I die.
What happened was crazy.
That’s why I’m leaving.
Even though I’d never leave you.
Eva, help me, forget about me,
even if I can’t.
I’ll always love you.”
More that 40 tears that Eva was
about to cry,
remained in her eyes waiting
for a better opportunity.
Eva, I can’t fall asleep.
Will you read me a story? Come.It doesn’t always happen,but unfinished stories, after a whilerepeat.
I knew
that Eva and Marcos’s
story hasn’t seen it’s ending.
Jovana Jasovic

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