Hey everybody, today we’re going to talk about something that has gotten a lot of chatter, and a ton of requests, and that is: body memories. What are they, and can we do anything to make them go away? Today we’re going to be talking about body memories. There is, I want to start off by addressing this, there’s a lot of chatter within the psychological community, and a lot of people who believe they exist, or don’t believe they exist. And they fight it out, you can read the research, you can read the blogs, and the arguments and the discussions. And I think the reason that there’s so much of an argument, is because many people, the people who don’t believe body memories exist, believe that there are no other cells in our body, other than our brain, that we can actually test and know, store memory. Does that make sense? So it’s like none of the cells any other place in our body other than our brain, in our noggin, can actually store memory. The people who argue that body memories actually do exist, argue that that’s wrong, and they will talk about how they’ve seen clients, there was an actually, really compelling, if I can find the link to it – I think I bookmarked it, I’ll put it in the description. There was an article where this woman, who was a practitioner, specializes in trauma, talked about how one of her clients, when she would describe the trauma, in her, like, processing through it, and talking it out, she’d been choked, and assaulted. And the handprint would actually show itself on her neck, when she would talk about it. And this was this woman’s thought about body memories really existing, and the fact that, at the cellular level, our body can store it, and it shows it, like that handprint. And I’ve seen it in my own private practice, so I would argue that I think they do exist, and that body memories are a real thing, because I’ve heard it from you, I’ve heard it from a lot of my clients, and the way that it’s been described to me in many cases, is kind of in conjunction with a flashback, right? So we’ve had a trauma, had something happen to us, and when that flashback occurs, and it feels like we’re back in that place, we actually feel whatever happened to us in our bodies, whether that be someone grabbing our wrist, whether that be a rape happening, whether that be being assaulted, or punched, or anything like that. We can feel it again, as if it’s happening right now. As I’m sure you can guess by all of the different experiences and examples that I’ve given, that body memories are most correlated with trauma, and someone having a trauma. I have no doubt that there are other reasons that they may happen and you may experience them, but that’s been my experience. So leave in the comments, if you think there’s something else, there’s some other experience, or something significant that’s happened to you, that has caused you to have body memories, because I would love to learn more, and that’s the great thing about our community, sharing experience with expertise, to get the best result, yay! That’s what body memories may feel like, look like, that may be how you experience them. If that’s what we think we’re struggling with, what do we do for treatment options? The first is EMDR, I have a video on it, I’ll link it here, you can click over there and check that out. There are also different forms of trauma therapy, and I’ve had someone reach out recently, to want me to address more of the other types of trauma therapy, so let’s get right into them. The next is CBT-T therapy – that is a trauma specialized CBT type of therapy. I have a video about CBT, I don’t do CBT trauma, myself, but I will look into it more and get back to you on that. The other option is talk therapy, which is what I do. And that’s the thought that as we talk through in detail, through a trauma, through a terrible experience, that we slowly give our brain time to catch up and process through it, so that the flashbacks and body memories can go away. Another option is DBT, and you know that I do that, and that’s my thing, but I have a video about it, if you want more specifics about DBT, and I think the reason that DBT can actually help with body memories, is the mindfulness factor. And the fact that we can be aware of what’s going on in our body, I’m closing my eyes because that’s what I have my clients do, and notice when the emotions start, where they start, and using some of those relaxation techniques, or other techniques, to help kind of bring that back down. There’s a lot of, like, somatic experiencing that we do with DBT, and I think it’s really important for us to recognize what’s going on in our bodies so that we can stop it before it becomes overwhelming. Also, there’s exercise, and I know that sounds really weird, you’d be like, “Kati, that’s not a treatment option, that’s not a therapy.” But that’s something that can actually help with body memories, specifically. A lot of clients feel like they have energy racing through them and they feel really overwhelmed, and just, maxed out, with all that’s going on, and all that they’re feeling and experiencing, and exercise can help exert that energy and get it out. There are a couple techniques that one of the trauma specialists that I’ll have on the channel soon, they talk about pushing into walls, doing kickboxing and punching, those can be really powerful/aggressive movements that help us feel like we’re breaking our body out of that memory it’s stuck in. And it kind of helps us, instead of feeling like the energy is cycling around and around, that we’re getting it out. As a sidenote, yoga can also be extremely beneficial, because of the breathing, and the progressive relaxation that comes along with it, the strengthening of the muscles, and the relaxing of it, the flexing and relaxing, so that’s another option as well. And lastly there is a therapy, and I don’t do it myself, so this is something that I had to research and read about a lot, but it’s called somatic experiencing, and I’m looking down at my notes, because they just call it SE for short, just like CBT instead of cognitive behavioral therapy, it’s shortened. So SE was created by Peter Levine in 1997. And he believes that because, he talks about how animals in the wild, when they go through a really stressful event, let’s say, there’s a bunch of horses, and they’re racing through something – they’ve been startled and they’re running across the field, when they get to a place where they get to stop, and they’re safe, and they’re calm, they do, sort of, like, these snorts. We’ve all seen, if you’ve been around animals – I guess grew up in the country so I’m assuming that you’ve seen animals do this, but they, they like, kick their feet and snort, and they do different things to like, [horse noise] And it’s a natural way for their body to come back to baseline. Right, we’ve had this really stressful event, and a lot is going on, and we exert this energy and then our body calms back down. In my practice I’ve seen it with deep breaths, or stretching, even yawning. There are a bunch of things that our bodies do to kind of bring, it’s almost like, resetting our system so that it can feel calmer and ok. Therefore, in somatic experiencing, Peter Levine recommends having people do things like that to help their nervous system come back to the baseline and to feel calmer and better, and there’s so much more information about this, you guys. I will link in the description the article that I read about it, and some of the research behind it, but if you are looking into this, and this is something that you want to do yourself, please make sure you see someone who is certified. Peter Levine actually has a training he does to help people better understand it and make sure that they’re practicing it properly. Because, as with all treatment, it’s really important that you see someone who knows what they’re doing, because this could be really scary and potentially retraumatizing. But know that body memories are normal. I have a lot of clients who experience them, and they can be really powerful. And the shitty thing about it is that we find that they’re usually the last part of our trauma to go away, and so if you’re starting to to process through it, and you’re like: “Man, my body memories are getting worse, what the hell, what gives?” That’s perfectly normal, keep with the program, keep working through it, because after we’ve kind of processed everything through, all of the other details, and nitty-gritty stuff, the body memories will dissipate at the end. So don’t give up, and use some of these different tools, and tips, and tricks you can do on your own, like the exercise one, or checking out some of my DBT stuff, and my worksheets, I have CBT worksheets on my website for free. There are so many things! But leave in the comments as always, let me know what your experience has been, or is this something that you’ve been going through? Is this something that you’ve been told doesn’t exist? Let me know what everybody’s talking about. And if you’re new to my channel, click here to subscribe, I put out videos all the time and you don’t want to miss them! And if you want to see other content about stuff like this, and trauma, click over here. And I will see you next time! Bye! (Do you want me to record this one?) I will kill you! [Deep breath] Coffee! 🙂

100 thoughts on “What are Body Memories? Kati Morton discusses PTSD, Assault, choking, being attacked & Body Memories”

  1. its great u mention exercise cuz I'm realizing now that yes when I'm up moving around more its not as often, so that's a wonderful tip!

  2. I have been in counselling for a couple of months and i have been through a lot of trauma that i actually repressed for about 6 months, I get body memories sometimes when triggered, however, something that happens often is a twitch or jerk in my muscles and joints, and this happens on a regular basis (such as when laying down, stood still or during my sleep). This is an awful experience to have/be having because it reminds me of what happened to me everyday. Just wanted to share my experience, i love your videos 🙂

  3. Reiki is one you didn't mention. I read about body memories and thought it was all b.s. but when I was in my third month of reiki, I actually experienced them. It totally freaked me out.

  4. I am extremely happy that you included SE by Peter Levine.

    I would've loved to see you talk more about narrative and experiential approaches to trauma therapy, though. 🙂 There's Narrative Therapy, Narrative Exposure Therapy, and Prolonged Exposure Therapy (Foa et al.). On the cognitive front, there's Cognitive Processing Therapy, CBT–TF, and a bunch of trauma non-specific approaches.

    P.S. Trauma therapist in training here.

  5. @kati morton, I was wondering if this can be true with self harm. Because sometimes I think about doing it and my arm will hurt. does that make sense? I feel like my body remembers, you know?

  6. I actually learned about one of my repressed memories because of a body memory. I was beat really badly by my mom on our couch when i was young and i forgot about it. But I would always feel it when i looked at the couch and I would remember the incident but only for a really short period of time. But i would feel like i was getting punched in the face when ever I remembered. The worst part is its not really like a normal memories and flash backs when you can stop them some times. These memories at least in my experience last for how ever long it lasted when it happened, and there is no way to stop it.

  7. I wonder if you had to be brought to hospital because all of the sudden you get the most weird rapid heartbeat and if this event is traumatic to you, because at the moment there was nothing you or your family members could do and even the doctor couldnt so they had to call the ambulance.. is it the traumatic experience that every time you get to feel your heartbeat (and the more often you listen to it the more often you feel it) you feel as if this for you life threatening event is happening again and scares the hell out of you. Even if you know you are "fixded" now you still get so anxious about your heart that it scares you time and time again. i didnt find the answer to this yet but maybe thats the body memory? It would be so helpful to know that it is a memory and not a real event happening again because thats how it feels all the time.

  8. It's like the anger, crying and screaming is bunched up into a tight ball inside my belly. It rolls back and forth like the inside of a bubble ruler. I clench my mouth shut, and there's no escape.Sometimes I get this feeling like dread. It's heavy, and it spreads all throughout my body, weighing me down, and taking my breath away. And sometimes it's like someone took a bucket of ice water and dumped it into my lap, and across my lower stomach. I've considered the possibility of body memories.  I've also thought about genetic memory- remembering memories that aren't yours, extreme empathy-remembering things that never happened, and repressed memories-remembering things physically only.   Each explanation is as good as the next.  Each one is crazier than the next.   I guess I don't really have an explanation.  Just theories. And that terrible feeling I can't ever let outside my body, or it will destroy everything once loosed.  I suspect it's like a wild, black, fuzzy animal with very sharp teeth.   I've seen it in a dream.  Someone gave it to me.  The more you hand onto it, the more it hurts you, but if you ever let it go, then it does some real damage.  Stuck.

  9. Body memories exist. In one session of 'trauma release' therapy,I experienced the 'bad memories' of my childhood and teenage times with strong emotions of 'fear,sadness',etc. So many flashes of images from past. And I felt so real in my experiencing of those emotions! :O I was shocked to experience them. I never thought,they existed….Interestingly,since that trauma release experience,I feel so 'good' and light…..and better! Strange experience!

  10. My narcisstic/borderline abusive parent has tons of this oppressive horrible unprocessed body memory from their traumatic abused childhood.

    Im a massage therapist with a bit of paraprofessional mental health & trauma training, and I work with allowing my clients to feel safe when spontaneous releases & healing of traumatic body & cellular memories occur.

    I check in with my own body's reactions to gain awareness of my passive triggers in advance of them becoming active and enacted as inappropriate responses and actions. And for many other healthy, healing, validating, life-saving & joyful reasons.

  11. Hey Kati! I have this friend who dealt with years of sexual abuse. Anytime she is touched by someone, doesn't matter who, or if someone brings up anything intimate, she falls to the ground and shakes and cries. She starts having a full blown anxiety attack. I don't know what happens, but it's like she just completely enters her mind. It's definitely a scary thing, and knowing that she isn't the only one gives some hope. It's hard to see all of this happen, and I just hope everyone that goes through it can find a way out. I never knew how bad it was until I saw it first hand. Stay strong?

  12. I fully believe that body memories exist, perhaps not imprinted in our muscle and skin cells, but I think that our brain might have "burned in" the motor/somatic pathways that were involved during the trauma.

  13. Phantom limb is a condition where a missing appendage will feel pain even though the limb has been amputated. That sounds like a type of body memory.

  14. Very interesting! I started seeing a homeopathic doctor for anxiety and depression because medication didn't seem to be helping me. I wanted to try the wholistic route. Homeopaths focus completely on the body- inside and out. All of the systems of the body and what the body systems need to clear (toxins, chemicals, hormones, all the "bad" stuff) out of our body so it can function normally again, and completely as a whole.

    The work that homeopaths do is amazing if you are open to that kind of thing. I know it's not for everyone.

    At the end of my first appointment with him he found three emotions that needed to be cleared.

    Sometimes throughout your life your body can face negative overwhelming emotions that your body doesn't know what to do with so it can be trapped inside your body's organs. So for your body to function normally again he can clear this emotion. I have a whole sheet on how this happens. But I realize this is only limited space so if you are interested please reply to my comment.

    In summary, the homeopathic doctor found the emotions of a childhood sexual abuse case in my life. It makes complete sense to me due to all the symptoms I experienced in my teens and after this event. But I haven't been able to reach the memory yet in my brain.

    Bottom line your body can remember things that your brain does not recall.

    Emotional clearings are quite amazing if you are interested in researching about it. Sometimes it's easier understood by experiencing it yourself.

  15. I don't know if this counts as a body memory… but I was sexually, physically and mentally abused in my childhood. Whenever someone touches my shoulders I freak it and I have no idea why. I have been told that it can be because my body remembers something that happened involving the touching of my shoulders, that I don't remember

  16. My experience was olfactory produced, flashback via smell of OLD SPICE. I was about to get intimate with my husband, but he had been wearing a smell that made me freeze. I FROZE.

  17. Body trauma is very real. Not remembering where the sensation is coming from, no verbal story but the story told through your body. With early childhood trauma, even before speech has developed, it's the body that tells the story.

  18. when I was young I was physical abused and I was hit with some broken wood and when I think of the event it feels like theres a dull bruise where I Was hit but it's been years.

  19. I love your top. Thank you for doing this video. I myself have body memory and I hate it so much. Seeing this video made me feel more normal than my symptoms usually allow me to feel.

  20. I think I may have been experiencing this. Do you think it's possible?
    I have PTSD from having a very dangerous abusive fiancee. He tried to kill me twice, once by pushing me in front of an oncoming car, and once by strangulation. However, the manifestations on my body I'm referring to are bruises that appear on my upper arms occasionally. Usually after or just before a PTSD nightmare or a flashback. For years I just figured I had bumped into something and not realized I hurt myself, but there have been so many occasions where I have no idea how I've gotten them, and they always seem to pop up when my PTSD has been bothering me a lot. Can they manifest as bruises? My ex always left bruises on my upper arms like that form grabbing me. It must have been countless times. I suppose it's hard to really say either way since not much is known about it, and it's still being argued. I was just wondering if there have been cases involving bruises.

  21. i definitely havent ever heard of body memories but i have experienced them. One time, i was simply talking to my therapist about the idea of doing a trauma narrative about a particular trauma and i felt a sensation in my lips for about 4 days. It would come up and i would try to ground myself, it would come back again to the point where at one point i felt like i wanted to cut my lips off to make it stop. that was a rough week but i have an amazing therapist and we worked through it. Is this different from a flashback though?

  22. In martial arts we used it. We beat each other to cause trama so we can defend our selves. You can see boxer's fight while they are Knocked out. People say it's just muscle memory but that's not all.

  23. When i feel like im going to have a flash back i put on SlipKnot and pretend im playing the drums, music helps me alot. Im getting help next month after a long long wait. Thanks for your videos. From the UK.

  24. I've had multiple traumas but the most intrusive one has been my car crash I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately and I can feel my back hurting my hands get tingly and my leg hurts all like in the car crash

  25. Kati, I am a license medical massage therapist and have taught a massage degree program for several years. Muscle memory is something that we teach our students about. We caution heavily about the possibility of past trauma resurfacing due to muscle memory during massage. There are several "energy" therapies that are beneficial. One thing that might be interesting to look into is cranio sacral therapy and somatic release. Your channel has been so helpful for me. I appreciate all that you do.

  26. As a victim of years of being raped in voodoo trance, I find that nobody wants to be there for me, even SPARCC. I've been framed a threat to society and shunned by everyone I've ever known, even exgfs and bandmates have told me that they can't speak with me anymore because they're receiving death threats in the gangstalking, of which I'm framed of. Yeah, they continue abuse thru gangstalkers and the legal system. It's not enough to just rape a person for years and ruin their life. The US authorities are actually involved in this abuse too, as are many churches. It's all voodoo cult related. They've been taking down youtube accounts of victims that say too much.

  27. I'm currently struggling with this. It's been days now where my body feels as though it's under constant attack. I was abused as a child for years. Right now it feels like I'm never going to escape the pain

  28. Hi Kati (I'm not sure if i can tag in YT comments), can you do a video about PNES?
    Its called psychogenic mom epileptic seizures, related to PTSD but various seizure types present as a response to trauma triggers. I'd be interested to hear a professional talk about it. I struggle with this and it is so rarely tallked about.

  29. the times i feel most like my body remembers more is when it comes to dance or music, it seems like when you memorize a song or dance you almost dont have to thibk about it to do it, sometimes i forget a piano piece, i know how the song sounds or goes , my hand knows the movement but i forget where my hand goes and thats when i have to feel it out, i get body memory from trauma too, at times for an example it feels like i have tape on me but i know there is no tape and no clue what triggered that sensation, so it may be hard to trace but i think when it comes down to it what it really is ,is just another form of memory, sometimes the memories are fragmented and there are a number of reasons that can happen

  30. Working with my now thankfully ex-wild horse showed me all the animal behaviour Peter Levine describes. Watching horses who have never seen a human before is amazing, nail biting and utterly educational. I read such a lot about horse behaviour and love comparing it to that of humans. Along with Peter I'd REALLY recommend THE GREAT Robert Sapolsky who has written one of the funniest books in the known universe (A Primate's Memoir). He was also kind enough to return my fan email. 🙂 https://www.amazon.com/Why-Zebras-Dont-Ulcers-Third/dp/0805073698 – really fascinating book about why living in the present presents less problems. 🙂

  31. Can having no memories of childhood sexual abuse but know it happened due to clues and every current sexual experience feels like a violation be body memories?

  32. So when I think about a certain traumatic night and remember shivering violently because it was so cold and then suddenly start shivering and can't warm up even though I'm in my house and the thermostat is at 74 degrees, is that a body memory?

  33. @kati Morton I really do appreciate your heart for mental health. I have a huge heart for it as well. I have ptsd I've had it for a long time. I got It from being bullied. What a lot of people don't understand and I'm sure you agree with me. that is ptsd is a very broad topic. I believe there are different forms of trauma and stress.Ptsd is so commonly thought of those who were raped, or experienced or saw violence. That is one of the versions of ptsd. I think what needs to be addressed more in this society is trauma related to what is called small Ts.(small traumas) Which can be related to what a lot of bullied victims go through some ofcourse can experienced one certain traumatic experienced which causes ptsd .( I'm not trying to be condescending lol I know you already know all this stuff lol Im explaining for people who don't.) small ts can be aggressive facial expressions you get from people at a daily basis, mean tone of voice, Being yelled at, being avoided or ignored, verbal abuse and ofcourse isolation. This happens in the work place too not just school! All those reoccurring daily things add up to being a big trauma like being raped. I think SMALL Ts HAVE TO BE TREATED AS A BIG TRAUMA( I'm not yelling at you lol it's just a Important thing to say!) I'm sure professionals like your self take it very seriously but it needs to be taken seriously by the fellow person . It' easily is tossed in the dumpster "bc what you went through is normal". Abuse is abuse period! You have a lot of abuse victims like that waking around isolated and end up taking there own life or cause damage to someone else and people wonder why? There is no excuse to causing violence just to clarify but what can cause violence needs to be addressed .I want no person left behind! I would love for this topic to be exposed and acknowledged like it's is for those who have experienced big traumas. I hope you are reading this and hope this is something you could talk about in one of your videos. Thank you again for your heart to love people. We're on the same team. No one left behind!

  34. Have you done Tension Release Exercises (TRE)? It's really beneficial and the patient induces involuntary tremors

  35. Sexual assault tw///
    Whenever I get flashbacks from sexual abuse I experienced when I was little, I can always feel hands on my body. It really makes the flashbacks, or what I now know are body memories, worse. I always wondered if it was normal.

  36. My therapist told me recently I struggle with PTSD but I haven't got into the details with her yet. I just know I still struggle with it and it's not easy. My issue was church wounds and emotional/sexual wounds. So it's complex for sure! Our bodies can only handle so much. I love deep breathing and stretching ?

  37. I saw in another video by someone else that body memories are brought on by touch but that only happened to me once. Normally I will feel the sensation of the abuse out of the blue on the part of my body that was assaulted. That sort of thing has not happened to me in my younger years it happens only now in my forties.

  38. My therapist told me thar I need to find a boyfriend. My body memories are coming back in a sexual 'spontaneous Orgasms" They had no clue what I was talking about. I was in the hospital because of this, and left feelung worse. HELP

  39. This is so cool! I was in a car accident and when I got tense on my jaw you could see the scar from my accident during the tense session

  40. i get body memories that can be very fragmented , sometimes its just a smell, or i feel tape on my skin when there is none, other times feels like i just got beat up, it can be really confusing if you dont recognize it as body memory

  41. I think we have positive body memories as well. 🙂 Like, I can feel like my boyfriend is hugging me when I think about the all the times he’s hugged me. Makes sense?

  42. Kati, thank you for your videos. They have been so helpful. Have you ever heard of expressive therapy or could you do a video about it?

  43. Body memory is definitely real. That's the only kind of flashback I have. I actually feel hands on my back because I was massaged before I was abused and I feel it in my body parts (if you know what I'm saying) I can't believe people don't think it's real. I guess you just have to experience it yourself. It feels awful. Thank you for this video it really explained a lot.

  44. I beleive in body memories as I have experienced them myself. I didn't know what it was until my therapist told me what I was experiencing!

  45. Cant forget olfactory ( sense of smell ) memory / triggers.

    I did an arts and craft project in 5th grade and we used paint thinner, and I got flashbacks of having a cloth around my nose and face being held down on a hand from behind me with the same chemical on it .

  46. I've been having body memories if that's what it's called. I was whipped by my father with a belt to the point it bled. Usually the pain goes away but recently I went for a month with the pain. I was worried it was never going to leave. Just mentioning it here brings it on. I'd love to be able to stop it.

  47. Body memories definitely exist, as I know from my own experience. I was violently knocked out/choked out and raped more than once as a kid, and I've gone through periods when I actually relived it in my body. This was so horrible – I had to just hang on and stay still as the feelings went through me, kind of like a wave. Not a fun thing to go through alone. I still hug tight to a teddy bear at night, and sleep surrounded by my kitties, since no one is interested in what I actually go through. Thank you for giving a shit! We really appreciate it.

  48. Hey, I'm part of a traumagenic dissociative system?

    Can this manifest as extremely bad muscle spasms in your back/where stress was once felt to be held?

  49. Couldn't those body-related experiences that occurs long after the event be explained by some kind of currently unidentified link between the brain and the body, rather than necessarily having the memory stored in the body itself. I mean, if the brain has the memories and remembers the body state when the trauma occured, it might be able to recreate that state (or some echo thereof), even though the memory is stored entirely in the brain.

  50. Yes, I believe that body memories is real
    But my question is what is the cure of fear concentrated in the memory of the foot?

  51. I'm so glad that you posted this. I'm a trauma survivor and have cptsd, unfortunately due to my tendency to completely dissociate when something traumatises me or triggers me I have been raped multiple times since by different people. The only thing that I actually can remember from most of these events ARE the body memories. I get scratches and scars raise when I think about it or if I get triggered. It's terrifying but I have been to a therapist who doesn't believe in it. As someone who was chronically gaslighted by their primary abuser I have always just assumed that i'm crazy, so it's so relieving to see that this is something that other people also experience. Thank you for your work !

  52. I was in a car accident about a year and a half ago. I used to get sharp back pain and shortness of breath everytime I would think about it. So this definitely makes sense.

  53. So glad you made this video. I've been struggling with physical issues as a result of sexual abuse and trauma and my partner just doesn't understand why I can't stand to be touched in certain ways. For him it comes as a shock because he's been with me for 9 years, and this has only been a major problem for the past 4. My yoga practice has helped me get so in touch with myself and has made me face my past. I feel like for the first time I'm able to talk about being raped, beaten and verbally abused. I know I've suppressed a lot but I know that our bodies hold trauma just like our minds do. Every cell of our body needs complete healing when we suffer trauma and abuse. I believe even verbal abuse can mess with your physical being. Wishing you all well on your journey. To anyone that's reading this I have hope that one day I will heal, that the work and the pain I'm enduring will pay off. Take time out for yourself each day to connect with your mind body and spirit; whether that be journaling, meditation, speaking positive affirmations or exercise. I feel like talk therapy is really hard at first and when things are spoken about; at least for me when I wasnt ready to re-live a trauma talk therapy caused a tremendous amount of immediate onset depression and anxiety. But honestly it's likely that it only felt so bad because I didn't have any real support in my actual life at the time and was burying my pain in my daily life. Finally I ended up having a psychotic break at 24 years old, almost exactly 10 years ago and was hospitalized several times. But today I'm okay; not awesome or 100% all of the time, but I'm getting better each day. So just remember you are worth the trouble to work through these issues. Don't bury your pain; if you do it will catch up with you one day when you least expect it; so choose to face it little by little starting now. Namaste ☮

  54. I can think of another way in which body memories can occur. I've hurt my finger pretty badly (blood everywhere, missing a nail, etc. I'll spare you the details) and years have past, but every time I need to cut my nails, my hand starts shaking and that finger (+the others around it) still hurt. Even though there's physically nothing wrong with me. Well, maybe not as big as real trauma, still noteworthy. Have a nice day!

  55. Idk if what I experienced was body memory, I’m still trying to understand what happened.

    My experience actually landed me in a divorce. We spent few weeks apart. I’d call it a temporary separation. A lot was going on with my. One of my parents was just diagnosed with stage4 cancer. I couldn’t control my emotions or thoughts for weeks. Outburst of tears. Snapping at ppl, feeling I’d anger, feeling lost, like I was loosing my mind.

    Well in the weekend my husband came back from his out of town job we got into an argument while picking up our camper out of state. He began drinking once we got home that night ( he always controlled himself when drinking / never abusive or mean) I’m sure my emotional withdrawal from him that weekend and the boos didn’t help our situation.

    Long story short with my phone in hand, he demanded to see, I yanked back said no, he lunged forward loosing his balance and fail on me ( I was in a sitting position on the bed), his monstrous hands gripped around my hands tightly for my phone, I couldn’t hold our weight anymore and I fail backwards onto my 6 year old son who was asleep in my bed. He woke up crying saying moma ur hurting me. That’s when I shoved his chest forward off me, kicked and broke his leg. It happened so fast I can’t remember details on how he was positioned by that time or myself. If memory serves me right he had one foot still in floor and his other leg was resting in the edge of bed. I used my leg muscles to put distance btwn us. I never intended to hurt him. But I do remember for a split moment a flash back started. My child hood And growing up in abuse. I felt scared, threatened, and protective of my son.

    I knew my husband would never intentionally hurt me or my son. Nor was he trying to st that moment. He was overwhelmed with our relationship issues, determination and stubbornness, just as I was in regards to my rejection of allowing him my phone.

    He hated me for a very long time over that. I cried many times begging his forgiveness and that I didn’t mean too. He went through two surgery’s and missed nearly a year of work over the incident. It’s now been 4 years and we get along and talk daily. We can’t get pass that point in our life, nor my affair during that short term separation (which is why I didn’t want him seeing my phone). I’ve tried so many times to make him understand btwn the childhood abuse and the abusive relationship before I met him had to have a big part in my reaction or simply it was the position he was in. We’ve never been physical before that. When he fail to the floor I jumped up yelling wth is wrong with you don’t ever put your hands on me again like that. You know I’ve been best on. That’s what you get. Ofcourse I didn’t mean it but my heart was pumping and I was ready to fight fist up. He limped out the room and I ran to my door and locked it. Eventually I cried myself to sleep and this is the weird part…. he said he got back in the room and woke me. Saying he was in pain and I wouldn’t help him I told him to go get Tylenol or something. He said I had no care. I was sleep talking? Idk? Was my impulse reaction body memory from earlier trauma. Oh and I am also a rape victim. I nvr notified police or told family of my 8 year old partner at the time. I was in my last semester of college and woke up to him above me and I lost conscious and woke bk up to him standing beside my bed looking down at me with no shirt on, only jeans. No matter how hard I fought to lift myself from my hotel bed I couldn’t. I couldn’t even keep conscious for more that 10 seconds in those two wakings. He was also my professor in college.

    I have a life of traumatic events since a tiny baby. I suffer from anxiety depression bipolar disorder and now memory loss from. Recent event. I found my mother dead 10 months after my father died. I blacked out, had a nervous breakdown and have memory loss. It’s not like I forgot everything but the morning I found here is very foggy and the last two years of my life with her is almost erased. And of course little events and people here and there dating back 10 years. My kids bring up memories and I’m lost and swear these events never took place. Now I just dnt Argus and hurtfully laugh it off as if I remember it perfectly.

    The reason I mentioned my memory loss is cause I’m curious if that may be why I now have issues remembering that night? Reason I ask is cuz just last night we got into a verbal argument and he threw the incident bk up and how cold I was to him after I broke his leg. But I DNT remember. I didn’t even argue the fact that I didn’t do it cause I’m confused. I take all the blame and he will not forgive me at all. We never tlk about it. Out of sight out of mind. But able to remain friendly. I want so badly for someone to please explain to me why I did this to him? I nvr wanted to hurt him. Why did I react so violently when I knew he’d nvr hurt me? And where did that super strength come from? He’s a huge man in comparison to me. Just to keep my phone away wasn’t the issue cuz we were exhausted and tired from a long trip and got home at midnight. Idk maybe I’ll nvr understand. But he won’t accept any other reason other than I flat out broke his leg and was heartless over it.

  56. The heart has a neural network just the brain does. And it's been proven water can store information. Our bodies are primarily made of water.

  57. I’m so glad I found this video. I been following you a while. I know this is a old video but I was just exploring your channel a little more. I didn’t know this existed. I don’t have flash backs but if I’m touched in a way on my chest and sometimes it feels exactly the way it did when my abuse happened in both times in two different instances. It’s not like a flashback but it’s like my body is feeling it over again. I found this interesting. I’m not sure if it’s the same but yeah.

  58. I am an RSD/CRPS patient. My limbs which have the RSD remember every part of injury. One had surgery, and I feel the doctor's knife cutting it many times a week. Also another part which was yanked backwards by a slamming door. Between flashbacks of the incident and pain, the part remembers every ounce of the injury. The nervous system can retain memory.

  59. This topic definitely got me thinking and realizing that I have had many body memories. I think that is what got me into therapy now that I think about it. I have also noticed that when I go in for therapy, sometimes I will have a very uncomfortable tightness in the back of my neck. I think now that it is because I am holding back about something that is uncomfortable to talk about because once I do talk about it, the tension in my neck and shoulders goes away and I feel much better. I am learning to not hold back on whatever is bothering me. Thanks Kati.

  60. I am a survivor I was attacked by a man in his car He was throwing plastic out of his car window. (I don't know why) I blocked the one that was aimed at me . I was badly scratched. but I still have flashbacks if i see the item at parties, shops How can I control them?

  61. So I have a specific body memory that used to completely wigged me out. When it would appear I could hear things and physically feel sensations. With years of mindful practice I no longer experience the effects of the memory. However, I have never been able to recall the specifics of the trauma such as who the people were that were involved. I remember a woman's voice and a male perpetrator but I don't recall names or faces. Is it necessary for me to process that even though I'm otherwise a functioning person? I don't really want to open Pandora's box unnecessarily.

  62. I think it exists.. I was under extreme stress for about a month being emotionally abused by my mom constantly and when it reached its peak one day I just started flinching at the mere sight of her, not being able to even look at her or speak to her at all, like i'd feel this horror and terror in my body, like being inside a horror movie and lost control of my body when it came to that one person who abused me… it was just all physical sensations and I couldn't control myself physically anymore, one day my body just gave out like that

  63. Well if you think about it this way your brain is the only thing that registers feeling and emotion so even if the memories in your brain you can feel it in your body and I think that’s what it really is

  64. I also have body memories with labor contractions because when I see a pregnant woman I start to feel like my stomach is getting hard I know it’s really weird

  65. Came upon your video while trying to find a video about body reactions after a sexual assault relating to anxiety.. this was a very helpful video and I'm glad I found something about body memories!! Didn't even know it was a thing

  66. Body memories do exist indeed. Don't know where they are stored, but you can definitly re-experience the trauma. I struggle with panic related to suffocation. My body just stops breathing during emdr. I've had 3 sessions on this but I am afraid to let it happen. I am afraid I will pass out.

  67. Thank you for explaining body memories leave as the last trauma! Indeed, my body trauma's increased and thought of it that it is just the next step of the process. I already had a feeling I was nearing the end.

  68. There is a worm that showed that memory is not necessaraly stored in the brain for human.
    Those worms kept memory their environment after having their heads chopped off and after having to build themselves a brand new brain.. In french its called "le ver planaire d'eau douce" if you want to check it out.

  69. My ex would suffocated me in my sleep until I had no to little pulse and rape me constantly. As I remember times waking up I have a feeling like my heart stops and I can't breath or dont

  70. I had a body memory flashback just yesterday. I don’t have the luxury of believing they don’t exist. Thanks for the video.

  71. it wasnt body memory, it likely ur back brain experience cramp due to intense emotion pressure which u dunno its cramp n make whole body stiff, n loosen cramped brain is tricky, feel the cramp n twist neck to let it out until no more stiffness around neck, take 9 month, breathing regain smooth 7 times probably mean worsen drastic 7 times, feel more relax tiny by tiny, tat my exp.

  72. I remember "shaking off" everytime I got into the toilett cabin in school. Is that a sign school was a stressful thing for my nervous system?

  73. I was accidentally triggered by my man touching my neck in a specific way, w his hands in a special way. And my mood totally changed i couldn't nt get out of it and stayed that way for 20-30 minutes.

  74. I've got a lot of body memories from a whole childhood/teen life of trauma. Still trying to understand how to get them away, or "move/heal" through the severe pain. I've gone multiple times to the ER, in hopes of it not being somatic…alll the time, is somatic, nothing showing up on any test, Cat scan/blood test, mri, etc. Nothing abnormal. Which tells me, it's from the past. And it sucks.The "rushing feeling" in my system, I feel anxious, antsy, irritation, always needing to move. But then the back pain starts, severe stabbing belly pain, and then horrible pelvic pulsing pain.

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