I served six years in prison
for drug trafficking. Some of y’all can
probably relate to that, some of y’all, not looking
at nobody in particular. Man, what you in here for? Assault? When you got here,
was you liquored up? Yeah, so they got a tape on you
in that intake going wild? If I asked them people
to run back your video, it’s going to just you be —
This is what I’m-a see. I’m-a just see you
walking in pleasant? “This is where I sit? Okay.” That’s what — Nah, see,
usually, it comes like this. “I don’t give a — Yo, dawg,
it ain’t even me! It ain’t even me!
He put his hand on me first!” [ Laughter ] ♪♪ You know, you one drink —
that most people out there are one drink away
from ending up in jail? I don’t drink dark liquor
at all. Don’t drink dark liquor. If I’m going to drink anything,
and I don’t really drink, but if I’m going to drink,
I’m going to drink a margarita. That’s it. Nobody goes to jail
on a margarita. They sell you a pitcher
of margarita. Do they sell you
a pitcher of Hennessey? Hell no. If you buy a pitcher
of Hennessey, you going straight to prison.
You going to skip jail. You just going to just
wind up in prison, like, “Man, how I get here?” “You drank a pitcher
of Hennessey!” Dark liquor and attitude
get your ass in trouble. So, we coming out the club. My cousin talking loud, X,
Y, and Z, and the officer says, “Hey, brother. Hey, brother. Can you lower your voice?” Because he’s being loud
and belligerent. And we were. We were, you know what I’m saying,
because we’re happy. My cousin want to stand right
by the officer and talk shit. He say, “Hey, man,
don’t tell me how to talk and how loud to talk,”
and stepped towards the officer. The officer said,
“Hey, hey, boy, don’t do that. Don’t take
another step toward me, ’cause I’m going
to stun-gun your ass.” My cousin, on that liquor, “Hey, the hell you mean
you gon’ stun-gun me?” Margaritas. Margaritas.
I got good understanding. I’m margarita. I stay down.
I say, “Hey, stun gun, means he’s going to
electrocute you, dawg. He’s about to electrocute you.
That’s what he’s trying to do. Electrocution is
about to happen, son.” My cousin —
But I knew what happen. My cousin in a fraternity, and that man said
don’t step towards him. And I know that’s all my cousin
heard was don’t step, ’cause his response was, “Man, don’t tell me
not to goddamn step. I’ll step on over this bitch!” As soon as he spun around,
that man stun-gunned his ass. And what I’m mad about,
my cousin gon’ grab me, and now we both… [ Laughter ] I done fought a lot.
I done had a lot of fights. You look at my face. I got all type of scars
and scratches. I done earned each
and every last one of them. Now, I ain’t never been bullied. I had a good mama.
I had a good parent that said, “Hey, ain’t no
bullying in life for us, baby. You going to be too small
to get bullied. You going to be tough.” My mama grab me.
I’m about 6 years old. I’m walking through the house.
My mama grabbed me by my shirt. “Hey, boy, let me
tell you something. Either you fight in the street
or you fight me.” I’m like, “Shit,
what you heard? I’m 6.” [ Laughter ] So you learn
that you going to fight. I never got bullied, man. Let me tell you a story.
I’m at the basketball court. Me and this dude get into it. I beat him up. His three brothers come back,
jump on me, beat me up. I go home. I go home. I’m sitting on the couch.
My mom walked in. “Hey, boy, what’s wrong
with you?” I say, “Um, these three boys jumped on me
at the basketball court. You know what I’m saying?”
She said, “Shit. They damn sure
whooped your ass, got you in here looking like
Cuba Gooding Jr. in ‘Boyz n the Hood’
after Rickie got killed.” If you never saw the movie,
that mean I had blood all over. So my mama told my sister,
“Hey, go get my purse. We about to go back down there.” And I’m sitting there like this. I don’t want to go back
down there. I just told you they jumping
on people down there. I just told you that. My mama said,
“Get your ass up, boy.” You know how embarrassing it is
to walk to a fight with your mama and your sister? You don’t even want to go.
You’re walking slow. Come on. Bring your ass on. Get down there. Mama’s like,
“Point them out!” [ Laughter ] My mama got them boys together. “Come here, you little
ignorant ass boy. Let me tell you something.
You don’t jump on my damn son. You want to fight my son, fight
my son right now, one-on-one.” I was like this. [ Laughter ] Five fights in one day? I told my mama, “To the side.
Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you.
Let me talk to you.” I told my mama, “Hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, I thought you was coming
down here to fight.” I say, “What is in your purse?
‘Cause we gon’ need it. Whatever’s in your purse,
we gon’ need it.” My mama, she made me fight them
boys, made me fight them boys. I beat up two of them and lost the third fight
out of pure exhaustion. Don’t nobody have no goddamn
five fights in one day. [ Laughter ] ♪♪