I didn’t have a relationship
with myself. I wanted to get as far away
from myself as possible. I didn’t want to be crazy.
I didn’t want to be this weirdo. I’d have picked anyone else
on the street, “I’ll be you! “Teach me how to be you!
I don’t want to be me.” I didn’t learn anything at school
other than how to hate myself. I couldn’t sit still. I didn’t remember to raise my hand
before speaking out loud. I had so much energy. Bouncing
around the walls of my head. It was like,
“Be-dum! Be-dum! Be-dum! Be-dum!” That was my head, like…
Just, yeah, nonstop. But I just remember
being scared all the time. It was living in constant
fear of doing something wrong, of slipping up, of offending
someone, of looking stupid. I couldn’t keep going as I was,
that was the only thing I knew. I needed some sort of help. The first time I went
to a psychiatrist was when I was a teenager. They diagnosed me pretty much
straight away, told me they thought I had bipolar. I felt relieved.
I literally thought, “Wow, OK. I have something. “That sounds bad, that sounds
intense. That would justify it. “This is an explanation for
whatever is different about me.” So, it wasn’t my fault. I started taking a medication
called Depakote when I was 17. I’ve been on anti-psychotics
for 13 years. Basically, since I was a child. University was a struggle. It was only possible by
pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I got really good at
pretending to function. Like, I was living a lie,
to myself as well as everyone else. I had this feeling in my gut that bipolar
just wasn’t the whole picture, and it’s only then I started
googling anything and everything. And I came across
descriptions of ADHD. It was one of those moments where
everything just clicks into place. But trying to get
an ADHD diagnosis! Gosh, like, no-one believed me. If you know you have something
and you’re trying to tell… You try and tell, like,
eight different doctors… Oh, it makes it seem impossible! I felt defeated
after going to see one GP, and she was like,
“No, you already have enough “chains around your neck, another
diagnosis isn’t going to help you.” Oh, that… Oh, man… I walked out of that GP appointment and I couldn’t even cry
cos because I was just too numb. Eventually, I thought,
“Yeah, this isn’t working. “I should just give up.” But, then, a few months later,
I got a psychological assessment for a new job and, when the results
came back, the doctor was like, “Yeah, you have ADHD
and I don’t think you have bipolar.” When I first went
on ADHD medication, the first day, I was like,
“Wow!” I was on top of the world! I was, like,
“Oh, this is what it’s like.” That ability to focus
was just there. It was like, “Oh, my gosh, I have
so many things I want to achieve!” It’s like making up for lost time,
in the sense that you’ve always been told,
like, “Pay attention!” “I can pay attention! I can do it!” My whole life, all I wanted
was to just be like everyone else. But, then, when
I got ADHD medication, I was able to experience this
normal, and it occurred to me, I never once stopped to ask myself
if that’s what I really wanted. I just thought
it was the only option. Now, I can choose to not be normal cos I know what it feels like
and it’s not for me. The thing that’s helped me the most is being able to practise
mindfulness, even if that’s, “I’m going to try and notice
the taste of this bread roll” and learning how to
sit with the energy and how to, gradually, over time, be able to calm some of
that energy and still it. People that see
the world differently can obviously help
create a better one. There are so many amazing
things about having ADHD. I like my energy and I have so much love
to give the world. And who knows
where it could take me?

54 thoughts on “Why School Is So Challenging With ADHD | Body Language”

  1. I have ADHD I'm super hyper after I eat candy I play alot I'm physical hyper I half to keep moving meds didn't work for me in school they would take me to the track so I can run it out

  2. I had ADD and my mom put me on ritalin and adderall and i HATED it,felt like a zombie when i took that shit..started flushing my pills and soon after,told my mom, and she told the teachers to give me a "easier version" of the work that everyone else was doing. With her support and staying on top of the school, i graduated in 08 and felt proud.

  3. ADHD teneeager from Spain here. You wont believe it me but i speak English automaticly thanks to this. We do and succesed in whatever we want but we need more time than the others, but the help it isnt bad, worst of all is that they dont know what we have so they put togheter two things :
    1. That we cant concetrate without medicine and that is not true, i have a friend who learn to concentrate alone without medicines and that is something that makes believe that our system of education is horrible, but learn that this is an research imcomplete for the profesionals, so imagine.
    2. what happen to her almost could happen to me, but was worst, thanks to medication experimental that they gave me i suffer depression, it is over, but it was horrible, but i learn that can happen two things: Or you stay with the medicine all your life or you learn to life and concentrate yourself.
    Thank you for your attention and sorry if i couldnt express myself.

  4. Never will I take my life for granted again! ? I had such a different experience with ADHD ? I have lived a fulfilling life. We do see the world differently. Being different worked out for me because I was fortunate enough to meet people along the way who loved how different I was & that really allowed me to be myself ? Over time I also gained self control & haven’t needed medicine in years ?‍♀️ I feel so blessed right now for the life I have ????☘️✨? …………. “ADHD does not define me. I define ADHD.”

  5. The worst thing for me is forgetting things while I'm thinking about it, forgetting what question I asked when someone gives the answer.

  6. I have adhd and I always hated myself and acted like others. I wanted to be normal. But It's made everything even worse. Now I can see I can't help myself this way. I need medicine.

  7. I recently had to drop out of high school after a mental breakdown and since I had a breakdown, my mom took me to therapy and immediately I was recognized as having Asperger's and ADHD. It took me another year to convince my parents to take it seriously and I'm only just now starting the process of finding a specialist. Getting the diagnosis was the best thing that had ever happened to me because I finally felt like I made sense.

  8. Remember when we didnt have to give our kids a dependency on drugs by labeling their inability to find certain school subjects less than interesting as a disability? I'm so glad I have my whole adult life ahead of me, having to deal with people who were told they need drugs to be normal, and ultimately picking up after people who choose not to be capable because they were conditioned that way. What better way to separate those that are willing and able with those that expect everyone else to pick up their slack, than with conditioning at an early age.

    Humanity is such a wonderful miracle, heres to hoping the incapables kill off all those that work hard and dont need an excuse, so they end up killing themselves off for not wanting to follow through with anything

  9. I have ADHD, unfortunately i grew up in the system, and if you don't know what that is, its basically this program(don't remember the name) where they adjusts things for you to make it easier. Basically, social skills every morning, temper development, speech development. I was pulled from my classes every morning as a kid, and i was even bullied for being too energetic, too talkative,too "crazy". I watched other students that were like me in a way scream and cry and be put into a room with padding on the walls and floor. Might be a little screwed up, but it had a purpose being so they don't run out in the middle of the school and start hurting others and themselves. I grew up from that just knowing i was "different", i was treated like a freak because i didn't understand the concept of a conversation. No i don't want pity. No im not looking for attention. I've just finally found a place where i can share my story like so many others. ADHD is something that is either easy or hard to deal with. What makes it worse is how others treat you because you're "different". However it taught me to never be like those kids, to treat others with kindness, and to stop being a dick. So many go through so much, and we don't even know, you might go boo hoo another sob story, but in the end we've all had something horrible or awful done to us. We can either grow from it or we can let it destroy us. Different meds for ADHD have so many different effects, like how i can't even have a simple kickstart otherwise i literally shake and sometimes lay on the floor waiting for it to stop(i have only had a kickstart twice, first time to try, second to test if things would be different). So lets just be kind to eachother and supportive, because im here for you whoever is reading this.

  10. Getting the correct diagnosis is amazing. Yes, it means that you might be seen as different, but it also means that you know what is best for you and what treatments you should get.

  11. I'm on epilepsy medicine. Yes I'm "normal" now in the sense that I don't have seizures often anymore (and I'm extremely grateful for that), but man medicine side effects are the worst thing imaginable. I'd do anything to be seizure free without medicine

  12. I found myself i have adhd but my doctor gave me depression pills cause i used to be sad, but since i'd taken pills i got so high even couldn't sleep with taking 2 sleeping pills i wanted to quit me but i was so fucking upset i think everyone has problem but people don't understand what they don't experience so i always was hiding from the fake one, it's also me always living in lie and kept thinking i am bad at it it's shitty life whenever i talk with people i talked too much and i checked around i still talk much habitually feel i'm alien but i accept it and like that. I wanted to find something to do for the surviving i found it. So i'm happy now and thank you for laura always look for someone who believe me.

  13. I have add and learning support don't seem to care about people with ADD/ADHD because there's a lot of people with it but it's so hard to do anything without help

  14. doctors can think diagnosises will just stress you out..
    but honestly getting the right diagnosis makes you feel so at ease and explained. it’s very relieving

  15. Recently got this diagnosis. I've suffered with depression since 12, (I'm now 19), been on 6-7 different medications, always stopped working after a while. After being on my ADHD meds, my whole life has changed. I feel I'm a person, not just a husk.
    Everyone told me there's no use for a diagnosis, but this diagnosis gave me my life back.
    ADHD makes me, me. I don't resent it. I'm quirky, funny, creative and smart, and now with the medication I can fully harness those traits within myself.

  16. when you’re watching this as you’re simultaneously stressed and procrastinating an essay you’re supposed to be writing…

  17. I’ve just been diagnosed i know how primary feels. I’m going on a medication named rhitellin.

  18. I was diagnosed with it, but I never took medicine, so like idk if it was even real tbh. I also, like mostly grew out of it by middle school. I want to some therapy thing for like 6 months and never came back like idk what that was lolllllllll

  19. I have it. It sucks. People say that “its easy to focus”
    bOi
    nO
    nO iTs nOt bIsH

  20. “I got really good at pretending to function. Like I was living a lie, to myself as well as everyone else.”

  21. I had the same from beginning to 0:38 but when I got to another school I got friends and since then I didn't have that anymore

  22. Getting the wrong diagnosis sucks as well… i hate that ADHD is a disorder, i am diagnosed with ADHD, i dont feel anything, im medication free, no one notices that i have ADHD. But i can not get rid of the diagnose, which bothers me. The ONLY problem i have with being diagnosed with ADHD, is that i get bullied for having it, even though i do not. I can’t relate to anything in this video. My grades has gone up a huge amount after i stopped using my medication…

  23. It’s crazy how once you’ve had it yourself you can pick up on who else has it going on. About 5 seconds in to the audio I was like yep, you definitely are on the same wavelength as me?

  24. As someone who have an ADHD I can relate to this 🙂

    I was diagnosed ADHD when I was 6 y.o. And I was lucky enough because my parents decided to get me an occupation theraphy for 3 years ?

  25. nobody ever talks about the anxiety that comes with adhd. like "did I do that? I dont know….i dont know…..is that real memory or one I made up myself??? is this thing a non sequitur, or does it apply? will they laugh at me if i say it? do people really like me, or am i too oblivious to notice that they actuallt hate me???"

  26. I know exactly how you feel about getting a diagnosis. I have ADD, mild Tourette's Syndrome, Anxiety, OCD, and several others, but every time I went to a doctor or a phycologist they would deny what I was feeling because it wasn't an exact description of what they had on their clipboard. Mental and physical disorders and illnesses can be very spread out and I wish that some doctors would pay more attention to what their patients are describing.

  27. My adhd is Soo diff but I got diagnosed at 4 different ( Im not very hyper but I am hyper cuz I have a symptom cause adhd which is CHRONIC BOREDOM which makes me really bored all the time )

  28. ADHD has caused me so much shit in my life, but it’s a blessing. Anything involving adrenaline I excel at. But psychiatrists are a nightmare they tend to jump to conclusions. No one understands how bad psychiatrists are until you have to deal with one

  29. Guys, if you are in high school get a diagnosis for ADHD!! I got extra time on the ACT and it helped Soooooo much!! You get extra time for tests that will effect your for the rest of your life! I know it’s hard but we can make it through.

  30. As I’m a secondary school student with ADHD I have had the same feelings. Feelings of trying to fit in to be liked. But it sort of worked. I have started to begin to not like myself and making myself someone I’m not. It just isn’t good. This has also led to me having self harmed myself at the start of year 10 and I’ve never felt right since. I’ve felt like doing nothing. Not even leaving my bed room. Trying to act normal at school around my friends but I get home and just lie there, in bed with to many bad thoughts. Just flying around my head. Feeling paranoid and feeling like nobody even likes me. Like all my friends fake being my friends. I don’t even really talk to people in the house. All I do is go out my room for food or the toilet, the rest of the time in my room. I try to take my mind of it by listening to or making music but it just doesn’t help drown out the bad voices in my head. Even my dad has said to me over the past couple years he thinks I’ve not been right or feeling down. The smiles I do are fake to make other people happy. Like a mask hiding all my feelings underneath. I feel worthless. I feel like I’m nothing. There is no point to life.

  31. I wrote a poem about me. I started medicine about three weeks ago. Yay I hope you enjoy

    I'm still the same mess of a person I was 3 weeks ago
    I just got better at hiding it.
    It's like how if you cry a lot you're still a cry baby if you cry in the bathroom
    All of my friends are normal, nice people.
    Yeah they are kind but they'll never understand the day to day struggles I still go through
    No one in the world cares.
    Unless they're on the internet. 
    I project such a different image there
    In physical I'm an ugly, angry, dumb, sensitive person
    On the internet I'm a rainbow puffle who only gets angry when people are being jerks
    On the internet I'm smart and happy.
    I'm better

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